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The graph and table below show the changes in the number of overseas visitors and top 5 visitor countries to Britain in 2004 and 2005. v.2

The graph and table below show the changes in the number of overseas visitors and top 5 visitor countries to Britain in 2004 and 2005. v. 2
The bar chart illustrates the changes figure of the tourists coming to the UK in 2014 and 2015, while the table provides information about the top five visitor nations of the Great Britain’s tourism. Overall, it is evident that the number of tourists visiting the UK in the meantime experienced a fluctuation. Japan, Australia and The United States were among the top three of the origin of the UK’s visitor. In january 2004, around 600. 000 of tourists travelled to Britain and the number decreased by 200. 000 in March. Following this, the figure increased to more than 700. 000 in June, reaching a peak at approximately 800. 000 in December. Britain’s tourist number from january to march 2005 was slightly different. While the former accounted for just below 600. 000, the latter was about 50. 000 lower. In June, the figure increased moderately, levelled off in September, before it jumped to about 800. 000 in December. The top three of the visitor origin countries to the UK in 2004 were Japan, Australia and America and it changed by japan dropped to second-place with the change number -3%, while both australia and america ware +2% each. Also, a new country entering the top five list was India with an additional number of visitor 17%.
The bar chart illustrates the
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changes
figure of the
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tourists
coming to the UK in 2014 and 2015, while the table provides information about the
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top
five visitor nations of the Great Britain’s tourism.

Overall
, it is evident that the
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number
of
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tourists
visiting the UK in the meantime experienced a fluctuation. Japan, Australia and The United States were among the
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top
three of the origin of the UK’s visitor.

In
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january
2004, around 600. 000 of
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tourists
travelled to Britain and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
decreased by 200. 000 in March. Following this, the figure increased to more than 700. 000 in June, reaching a peak at approximately 800. 000 in December. Britain’s
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tourist
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number
from
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january
to
The month "March" needs to be capitalized.
march
2005 was
slightly
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different
. While the former accounted for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 600. 000, the latter was about 50. 000 lower. In June, the figure increased
moderately
, levelled off in September,
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before
it jumped to about 800. 000 in December.

The
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top
three of the visitor origin countries to the UK in 2004 were Japan, Australia and America and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by japan dropped to second-place with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
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number
-3%, while both
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australia
and
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america
ware +2% each.
Also
, a new country entering the
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top
five list was India with an additional
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number
of visitor 17%.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph and table below show the changes in the number of overseas visitors and top 5 visitor countries to Britain in 2004 and 2005. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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