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The chart below shows the percentage of unemployed people aged between 15 and 24 in five European countries in 2005 compared with the overall percentage of unemployment in those countries Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main featu v.2

The chart below shows the percentage of unemployed people aged between 15 and 24 in five European countries in 2005 compared with the overall percentage of unemployment in those countries
The bar graph compares the proportion of jobless people (aged between 15 to 24 year olds) and overall unemployment among five European countries during 2005. Overall, it is readily apparent that, youth unemployment rates were higher throughout the given time period. To begin with, it is clearly seen that, in 2005 citizens of Poland with age group of 15 to 24 year olds, had 36% unemployment, since, it was only 15% of overall unemployment. Moreover, Italy came on second place with 23% unemployment rate among young ones, while overall workforce accounted for only 6%. In addition, in Hungary, 16% adults who were jobless in 2005, however, 4% individual stood in the group of overall unemployment. Further, 40% citizens of Germany were out of work and this figure was nearly 10% in the pool of overall unemployment. Finally, Denmark had lowest rates of people in both categories, such as, 6% and 2% in unemployment and overall unemployment respectively.
The bar graph compares the proportion of jobless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
(aged between 15 to
It seems that hyphens are missing
24 year olds
) and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
among five European countries during 2005.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Overall
, it is
readily
apparent that, youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
rates were higher throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, in 2005 citizens of Poland with age group of 15 to
It seems that hyphens are missing
24 year olds
, had 36%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
, since, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
.
Moreover
, Italy came on second place with 23%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
rate among young ones, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overall
workforce accounted for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
6%.

In addition
, in Hungary, 16% adults who were jobless in 2005,
however
, 4% individual stood in the group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
.
Further
, 40% citizens of Germany were out of work and this figure was
nearly
10% in the pool of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
.
Finally
, Denmark had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
rates of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in both categories, such as, 6% and 2% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
respectively
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below shows the percentage of unemployed people aged between 15 and 24 in five European countries in 2005 compared with the overall percentage of unemployment in those countries

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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