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The chart below shows the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. v.2

The chart below shows the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. v. 2
The pie chart illustrates the percentage of British students at one university in England able to speak languages other than English in the year 2000 and 2010. Overall slight fluctuations taken place in every language except German. Spanish is the highest spoken language in the year 2000 and 2010. in 2000, 20% of students were not able to speak another language, But in 2010 the percentage had sharply decreased to 10%, it shows more people learned other languages. Students speaking French language dropped from 15% to 10% in the year 2010. Spanish is the largest spoken language by the students in both the year 2000 and 2010, it climbed to 35% in the year 2010 from 30% in the year 2000. German language is constantly spoken by students n the year 2000 and 2010 with 10% of total percentage. Percentage of students speaking another language increased to 20% which was 15% in the year 2000. 10% of students are speaking two other languages other than English in 2000, it rose slightly to 15% in the year 2010.
The pie chart illustrates the
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percentage
of British
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students
at one university in England able to speak
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languages
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other
than English in the
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year
2000 and 2010.
Overall
slight fluctuations taken place in every
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language
except German. Spanish is the highest spoken
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language
in the
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year
2000 and 2010.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
2000, 20% of
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students
were not able to speak another
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language
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in 2010 the
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percentage
had
sharply
decreased to 10%, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
learned
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other
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languages
.
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Students
speaking French
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language
dropped from 15% to 10% in the
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year
2010. Spanish is the largest spoken
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language
by the
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students
in both the
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year
2000 and 2010, it climbed to 35% in the
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year
2010 from 30% in the
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year
2000. German
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language
is
constantly
spoken by
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students
n the
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year
2000 and 2010 with 10% of total
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percentage
.
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Percentage
of
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students
speaking another
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language
increased to 20% which was 15% in the
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year
2000. 10% of
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students
are speaking two
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other
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languages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than English in 2000, it rose
slightly
to 15% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS academic The chart below shows the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. v. 2

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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