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The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. v.1

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. v. 1
The line graph illustrates the mean temperature per month, whereas the table demonstrates the hours of sunshine in average in a year in London, New York and Sydney. Overall, it is clear that although London and New York become warmer but the temperatures start to decrease near the end of the year, the opposite trend is true for Sydney. In January, the temperature in London is higher than New York with figures 8 and around 5 respectively. As the temperatures in both cities continue to rise, the temperature in New York becomes higher than London in middle of March; the figures go up gradually and reach peaks in July (just under 30 and around 23) before showing a downward trend until December with a lower temperature in New York than in London. Turning to Sydney, the temperature starts to decline from January to July and then rises back in the end of the year with the lowest point just above 15. From the table, it is observed that New York has the highest number of hours exposed to the sunshine (2535 hours) and that was slightly higher than that of Sydney (2473 hours). Total hours of sunshine in London was the least and that was 1180 hours.
The line graph illustrates the mean
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temperature
per month, whereas the table demonstrates the
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hours
of sunshine in average in a year in London,
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New
York and Sydney.
Overall
, it is
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clear
that although London and
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New
York become warmer
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but
the
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temperatures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to decrease near the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year, the opposite trend is true for Sydney.

In January, the
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temperature
in London is higher than
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New
York with figures 8 and around 5
respectively
. As the
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temperatures
in both cities continue to rise, the
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temperature
in
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New
York becomes higher than London in middle of March; the figures go up
gradually
and reach peaks in July (
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just
under 30 and around 23)
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before
showing a downward trend until December with a lower
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temperature
in
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New
York than in London.

Turning to Sydney, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to decline from January to July and then rises back in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year with the lowest point
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just
above 15. From the table, it
is observed
that
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New
York has the highest number of
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hours
exposed to the sunshine (2535
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hours)
and that was
slightly
higher than that of Sydney (2473
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hours)
. Total
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hours
of sunshine in London was the least and that was 1180
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hours
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
207 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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