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The Graph and Table bellow give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries from 1900 to 2000 v.2

The Graph and Table bellow give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries from 1900 to 2000 v. 2
The initial illustration demonstrates the amount of water usage for agriculture, industrial, and household in global scale over a century, commencing from 19000, while the table highlights the consumption of water in two nations, i. e. , Congo and Brazil in 2000. At the onset, the majority of water is used for agriculture and minor portion for household. To start with, the level of water spent for cultivation witnessed a rapid improvement from five hundred cubic meters in the first sequence to five times higher in 2000. Research involving two nations, Brazil and Congo, demonstrated an overview of water usage for farming where Brazil expanded more water for irrigation than Congo. On the other hand, both industrial and household ceaselessly changed between 1900 and 1930 onward. However, industrial experienced a graduate increase in the beginning of 40 to reach almost 1500 cubic meters in 2000. Household in the contrary, remain unchanged but slightly in the end of the sequence.
The initial illustration demonstrates the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
usage for agriculture, industrial, and household in global scale over a century, commencing from 19000, while the table highlights the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in two nations,
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
Congo and Brazil in 2000. At the onset, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for agriculture and minor portion for household.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
spent for cultivation witnessed a rapid improvement from five hundred cubic meters in the
first
sequence to five times higher in 2000. Research involving two nations, Brazil and Congo, demonstrated an overview of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
usage for farming where Brazil expanded more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for irrigation than Congo.
On the other hand
, both industrial and household
ceaselessly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
between 1900 and 1930 onward.
However
, industrial experienced a graduate increase in the beginning of 40 to reach almost 1500 cubic meters in 2000. Household in the contrary, remain unchanged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
slightly
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the sequence.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS academic The Graph and Table bellow give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries from 1900 to 2000 v. 2

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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