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The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. v.5

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. v. 5
The provided graph and table data reveals information about the usage of water in all around the world and also compares the water consumption, population and irrigated lands in Brazil and Congo. Firstly, it can be stated that water was mainly used by three major sectors which were agriculture, industrial and domestic sectors. Secondly, Brazilian citizens consumed more water than the people of Congo did. According to the line graph data, the irrigational need for water was dominance world widely. This consumption was around 500 Km3 in 1990; however, it increased sharply to approximately 3000 Km3 in 2000. The amount of industrial water consumption and domestic water usage were almost similar in 1990. Both of these water consumptions steadily remained sample until in 1950. After that, industrial sector consumed water more rapidly to over than 1000 Km3 in 2000.   After 1970 the domestic needs for water increased but the highest consumption of water was in the agriculture sector. The table depicts that, Brazil had far more population (176 million) than that of Congo (5. 2 million). Irrigated land in Brazil was 25, 500 square km while it was only 100 square km in Congo. Finally, the water consumption by Brazilian was 359 cubic meters per person compared to only 8 cubic meters by each citizen of Congo.
The provided graph and table data reveals information about the usage of
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water
in all around the world and
also
compares the
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
, population and irrigated lands in Brazil and Congo.

Firstly
, it can
be stated
that
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water
was
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by three major sectors which were agriculture, industrial and domestic sectors.
Secondly
, Brazilian citizens consumed more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of Congo did.

According to the line graph data, the
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irrigational
need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
was dominance world
widely
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
was around 500 Km3 in 1990;
however
, it increased
sharply
to approximately 3000 Km3 in 2000. The amount of industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
and domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
usage were almost similar in 1990. Both of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptions
steadily
remained sample until in 1950. After that, industrial sector consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
more
rapidly
to over than 1000 Km3 in 2000.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
After 1970 the domestic needs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the highest
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consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
was in the agriculture sector.

The table depicts that, Brazil had far more population (176 million) than that of Congo (5. 2 million). Irrigated land in Brazil was 25, 500 square km while it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
100 square km in Congo.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
by Brazilian was 359 cubic meters per person compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
8 cubic meters by each citizen of Congo.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS academic The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. v. 5

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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