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The government should allocate more funding to teaching sciences rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree? v.9

The government should allocate more funding to teaching sciences rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. v. 9
For the last few years, great achievements in science have made people pay more attention on it. By the same token, in many countries, the government has decided to only prioritize science subjects in order to develope and progress. Personally, I just partly agree with this notion. To commence with, there are some reasons to believe that teaching science can make a great contribution to the development of a nation. Obviously, thanks to a lot of breakthroughs in various fields of science such as Physics, Mathematics and so on, the world can develope as it is today. For example, with the advent off calculation formulas as well as theorems, many construction works have been created such as Golden Gate Bridge, Egyptian Pyramids, etc. Another example is in the field of medicine, utilizing scientific horizons and continuously doing experiments, scientists have created antibiotics against fatal diseases. It means that people have more chances of being survived. Consequently, the quality of life will be improved. Moreover, learning science is able to help students enrich knowledge and become more creative. In other words, sooner or later, they will find out new things which could gain the country progress. On the flip side, it seems that other subjects should be invested by the government. It is true that science is extremely vital but it is not all. Especially, in the era of globalization, the unity of language is becoming more and more significant. In other words, the need for investing in language teaching is necessary. Specifically, in the past, Vietnam' s financial system pushed ahead slowly due to language barriers with European countries. However, nowadays, thanks to the focus on teaching foreign languages particularly English, lots of students are capable of speaking English fluently as well as studying abroad. As a result, after returning country home, students may help apply new innovations and advanced methods to domestic economy. To sum up, I agree that science plays an important part in developing country, but other subjects are very necessary, too. Therefore, the government ought to allocate more funding to both teaching sciences and other subjects.
For the last few years, great achievements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
have made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
pay more attention on it. By the same token, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
prioritize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in order to
Possible spelling mistake found.
develope
and progress.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion.

To commence with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a great contribution to the development of a nation.
Obviously
, thanks to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
breakthroughs in various fields of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
such as Physics, Mathematics and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, the world can
Possible spelling mistake found.
develope
as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
For example
, with the advent off calculation formulas
as well
as theorems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
construction works have
been created
such as Golden Gate Bridge, Egyptian Pyramids, etc. Another example is in the field of medicine, utilizing scientific horizons and
continuously
doing experiments, scientists have created antibiotics against fatal diseases. It means that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have more chances of
being survived
.
Consequently
, the quality of life will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
Moreover
, learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students enrich knowledge and become more creative. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, sooner or later, they will find out new things which could gain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
progress.

On the flip side, it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should
be invested
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is
extremely
vital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not all.
Especially
, in the era of globalization, the unity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is becoming more and more significant. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the need for investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
is necessary.
Specifically
, in the past,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vietnam&
#039; s financial system pushed ahead
slowly
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barriers with European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, nowadays, thanks to the focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
particularly
English, lots of students are capable of speaking English
fluently
as well
as studying abroad.
As a result
, after returning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
home, students may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
apply new innovations and advanced methods to domestic economy.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary, too.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to allocate more funding to both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
20Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic The government should allocate more funding to teaching sciences rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. v. 9

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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