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The charts below show the Medical research funding amount in millions of Dollars in Someland and also shows the death number for this area. v.2

The charts below show the Medical research funding amount in millions of Dollars in Someland and also shows the death number for this area. v. 2
The diagrams present data on the medical research funding for six deadly diseases in Someland as well as the deaths caused by those diseases in 1990. A glance at the charts reveals that there was a correlation between the amount spent on researching a disease and the casualties it caused- the higher funding generally produced a better result, at least for AIDS and TB. According to the illustration, the highest medical research budget was allowed for AIDS, around 175 million and in 1990 the death count in Someland from AIDS was 0. 25 million, more than death from Leprosy but fewer than fatalities caused by any other diseases. Again, the lowest research budget was for TB (roughly 25 million) and around 1. 75 million people died from this illness, the highest casualties from any disease in Someland in 1990. Medical research reserves for Leprosy and Tropical Diseases were exactly the same, approximately 70 million but deaths from the later disease were noticeably higher.   A similar trend could be observed in the cases of Diarrhoea and Malaria, which received around 60 and 50 million respectively for medical research and were responsible for 0. 5 and 0. 35 million deaths in Someland.
The diagrams present data on the
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medical
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research
funding for six deadly
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diseases
in
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Someland
as well
as the deaths caused by those
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diseases
in 1990. A glance at the charts reveals that there was a correlation between the amount spent on researching a
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disease
and the casualties it caused- the higher funding
generally
produced a better result, at least for AIDS and TB.

According to the illustration, the highest
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medical
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research
budget was
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allowed
for AIDS, around 175
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million
and in 1990 the death count in
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Someland
from AIDS was 0. 25
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million
, more than death from Leprosy
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but
fewer than fatalities caused by any other
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diseases
. Again, the lowest
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research
budget was for TB (roughly 25
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million)
and around 1. 75
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million
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people
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died
from this illness, the highest casualties from any
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disease
in
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Someland
in 1990.
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Medical
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research
reserves for Leprosy and Tropical
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Diseases
were exactly the same, approximately 70
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million
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but
deaths from the later
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disease
were
noticeably
higher.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
A similar trend could
be observed
in the cases of
Possible spelling mistake. 'Diarrhoea' is British English.
Diarrhoea
and Malaria, which received around 60 and 50
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million
respectively
for
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medical
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research
and were responsible for 0. 5 and 0. 35
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million
deaths in
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Someland
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
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IELTS academic The charts below show the Medical research funding amount in millions of Dollars in Someland and also shows the death number for this area. v. 2

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
201 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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