Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The charts below show the Medical research funding amount in millions of Dollars in Someland and also shows the death number for this area. v.2

The charts below show the Medical research funding amount in millions of Dollars in Someland and also shows the death number for this area. v. 2
The diagrams present data on the medical research funding for six deadly diseases in Someland as well as the deaths caused by those diseases in 1990. A glance at the charts reveals that there was a correlation between the amount spent on researching a disease and the casualties it caused- the higher funding generally produced a better result, at least for AIDS and TB. According to the illustration, the highest medical research budget was allowed for AIDS, around 175 million and in 1990 the death count in Someland from AIDS was 0. 25 million, more than death from Leprosy but fewer than fatalities caused by any other diseases. Again, the lowest research budget was for TB (roughly 25 million) and around 1. 75 million people died from this illness, the highest casualties from any disease in Someland in 1990. Medical research reserves for Leprosy and Tropical Diseases were exactly the same, approximately 70 million but deaths from the later disease were noticeably higher.   A similar trend could be observed in the cases of Diarrhoea and Malaria, which received around 60 and 50 million respectively for medical research and were responsible for 0. 5 and 0. 35 million deaths in Someland.
The diagrams present data on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
funding for six deadly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
as well
as the deaths caused by those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
in 1990. A glance at the charts reveals that there was a correlation between the amount spent on researching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
and the casualties it caused- the higher funding
generally
produced a better result, at least for AIDS and TB.

According to the illustration, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
budget was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
for AIDS, around 175
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and in 1990 the death count in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
from AIDS was 0. 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, more than death from Leprosy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fewer than fatalities caused by any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. Again, the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
budget was for TB (roughly 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million)
and around 1. 75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
from this illness, the highest casualties from any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
in 1990.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
reserves for Leprosy and Tropical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Diseases
were exactly the same, approximately 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
deaths from the later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
were
noticeably
higher.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
A similar trend could
be observed
in the cases of
Possible spelling mistake. 'Diarrhoea' is British English.
Diarrhoea
and Malaria, which received around 60 and 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
respectively
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and were responsible for 0. 5 and 0. 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
deaths in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS academic The charts below show the Medical research funding amount in millions of Dollars in Someland and also shows the death number for this area. v. 2

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
201 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts