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The charts below show the percentage of food budget the average Australian family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants. v.1

The charts below show the percentage of food budget the average Australian family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants. v. 1
The pie chart and line graphs reveal that average Australian families during 1980 to 2010 took more interests in restaurant meals and fast food meals became quite popular among them. Analysing the data presented in the pie charts reveals that an average Australian family spent only 15% of their food budget on outside food while the remaining 85% was spent on preparing food at home. Over the period, Australians started spending more on restaurant meals and started spending half of their budget on outside food just in 20 years. In 2010, they spend 60% of their food budget on bistro foods and that was a quadruple increase just in 30 years. Based on the line graph, Australians ate 20 meals both in a fast food shop and in a sit-down restaurant in 1970 and this number gradually increased in the next 20 years when the fast food became more popular in terms of the number of meals eaten by an average Australian in a year. The gap between the fast food and restaurant meal eating increased dramatically and in 2010 more than 110 meals were eaten in a fast food shop while this number was just above 60 in the case of sit-down restaurants.
The pie chart and line graphs reveal that average Australian families during 1980 to 2010 took more interests in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
became quite popular among them.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
the data presented in the pie charts reveals that an average Australian family spent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15% of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
budget on outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
while the remaining 85%
was spent
on preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home. Over the period, Australians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
spending more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
spending half of their budget on outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in 20 years. In 2010, they spend 60% of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
budget on bistro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and that was a quadruple increase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in 30 years.

Based on the line graph, Australians ate 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
both in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
shop and in a sit-down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
in 1970 and this number
gradually
increased in the
next
20 years when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
became more popular in terms of the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
eaten by an average Australian in a year. The gap between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
eating increased
dramatically
and in 2010 more than 110
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
were eaten
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
shop while this number was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 60 in the case of sit-down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The charts below show the percentage of food budget the average Australian family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
204 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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