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The table below shows the population of three cities in 1990, the population forecast of 2000 and the actual of 2000. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparison where relevant. v.2

The table below shows the population of three cities in 1990, the population forecast of 2000 and the actual of 2000.
The given table depicts the actual population among Sao Paulo, Jakarta, and Shanghai cities in 1990 and 2000. The data is calibrated in million. The most striking feature to be observed is that Sao Paulo city contain more population between 1990 and 2000. It can be vividly seen that, in 1990, Sao Paulo led with highest 15 million whereas Shanghai, Jakarta occupied second and third position with 13. 5 and 9. 5 million. It was predicted that in 2000, the population of Sao Paulo city would increased significantly and reach 24 million. Turning to rest of description, the actual population of Sao Paulo in 2000 was 18 million which was 6 million lesser than the prediction. The population of Shanghai was expected to increase and become 17 million. Surprisingly, it was decreased and by the end of decade it was 12. 5 million. The population of jakarta was expected to rise 4. 5 but it elevated sharply with 17. 5 million in 2000. As far as comparison is concerned, the population of Jakarta was decreased in 2000 while other two cities population upsurged noticeably.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table depicts the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
among
'Sao Paulo' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "São Paulo"
Sao Paulo
, Jakarta, and Shanghai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in 1990 and 2000. The data
is calibrated
in
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
most striking feature to
be observed
is that
'Sao Paulo' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "São Paulo"
Sao Paulo
city contain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
between 1990 and 2000.

It can be
vividly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, in 1990,
'Sao Paulo' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "São Paulo"
Sao Paulo
led with highest 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
whereas Shanghai, Jakarta occupied second and third position with 13. 5 and 9. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. It
was predicted
that in 2000, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
'Sao Paulo' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "São Paulo"
Sao Paulo
city would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "increase"
increased
significantly
and reach 24 million.

Turning to rest of description, the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
'Sao Paulo' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "São Paulo"
Sao Paulo
in 2000 was 18
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
which was 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
lesser than the prediction. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of Shanghai was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to increase and become 17
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
Surprisingly
, it
was decreased
and by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of decade it was 12. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
jakarta
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to rise 4. 5
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it elevated
sharply
with 17. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2000. As far as comparison
is concerned
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of Jakarta
was decreased
in 2000 while other two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
upsurged
noticeably
.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS academic The table below shows the population of three cities in 1990, the population forecast of 2000 and the actual of 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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