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The first chart below shows the results of a survey with sample the cross section of 100, 000 people asking if they travelled abroad and why they travel for the period 1994 to 1998. The second chart shows their destinations over the same periodWrite a repo v.2

The first chart below shows the results of a survey with sample the cross section of 100, 000 people asking if they travelled abroad and why they travel for the period 1994 to 1998. The second chart shows their destinations over the same periodWrite a repo v. 2
The tables below illustrate information regarding the results of a survey involving hundred thousands people for UK residents visiting abroad for different purposes and destination by main reason in 1994 to 1998 overall it can be seen that main purpose was for holiday and western Europe was most popular destination. To begin with, for holidays about 15000 UK citizens went abroad in 1994 out of 22000. About 3000 went for business approximately 2700 to visit friends and relatives, while people visiting for other reasons constituted almost 1000. In 1995 residents who went for holiday decrease a little and, was under 15000 whereas, other categories remained similar. In 1996 out of 24000 about 18000 went for holidays, while people who went for business, visit to friends and other reasons remains same. In 1997 citizens who left for holidays increase to 19000 with total figure went up to 27000, similarly in 1998 holiday makers rose to 2 20000, while for other reasons went down below 1000. Residents who visited Western Europe in 1994 were 19000 which fell slightly below 19000 in 1995 after that, the number increased with each successive Year, and in 1998, 24500 people visited Western Europe. North America was least popular destination.
The tables below illustrate information regarding the results of a survey involving
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
thousands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for UK residents visiting abroad for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes and destination by main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
in 1994 to 1998
overall
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that main purpose was for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
and
Capitalize specific, well-defined geographical regions: "Western Europe"
western Europe
was
Did you mean "the most"?
most
popular destination.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
about 15000 UK citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
abroad in 1994 out of 22000. About 3000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
for business approximately 2700 to visit friends and relatives, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
constituted almost 1000. In 1995 residents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
decrease a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
and, was under 15000 whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
categories remained similar. In 1996 out of 24000 about 18000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
for business, visit to friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
remains same.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
1997 citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
increase to 19000 with total figure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
up to 27000,
similarly
in 1998
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
makers rose to 2 20000, while for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
down below 1000.

Residents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
visited Western Europe in 1994 were 19000 which fell
slightly
below 19000 in 1995 after that, the number increased with each successive Year, and in 1998, 24500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visited Western Europe. North America was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
popular destination.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The first chart below shows the results of a survey with sample the cross section of 100, 000 people asking if they travelled abroad and why they travel for the period 1994 to 1998. The second chart shows their destinations over the same periodWrite a repo v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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