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The chart shows the percentage of car manufacturer 039 s total car sales in different regions from 2006 to 2010 v.2

The chart shows the percentage of car manufacturer 039 s total car sales in different regions from 2006 to 2010 v. 2
The bar chart compares and contrasts data on the differences in the sales of automobile production in several regions worldwide, measured in proportion, over a 5-year period, starting from 2006. A closer look at the diagram highlights the fact that Asian car production gradually increased in sales, while the opposite trend is true for that of South America. Additionally, Europe and North America witnessed little variation in the total sales of car manufacture. More specifically, despite starting roughly one-third of the automobile production’s sales, the Asian figures experienced a gradual growth over the observed period, rising to half of the total sales among the other areas in 2010. However, the figure for South American nations witnessed a slight downward trend, with a rate of approximately 30% in 2006, gradually decreasing to only a tenth in five consecutive years. Looking at the chart in more detail, North America’s sales only accounted for only over 10%, which was the lowest figure among other regions in 2006. In addition, its figure declined and reached the bottom of roughly 5% in 2009, before rising back to its initial figure. On the contrary, European nations experienced a slight rise of 10% in 2008 compared to its figure in 2006, followed by marginally falling to about 30% in 2010.
The bar chart compares and contrasts data on the differences in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of automobile production in several regions worldwide, measured in proportion, over a 5-year period, starting from 2006.

A closer look at the diagram highlights the fact that Asian car production
gradually
increased in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
, while the opposite trend is true for that of South America.
Additionally
, Europe and North America witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
variation in the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of car manufacture.

More
specifically
, despite starting roughly one-third of the automobile production’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
, the Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
experienced a gradual growth over the observed period, rising to half of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
among the other areas in 2010.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for South American nations witnessed a slight downward trend, with a rate of approximately 30% in 2006,
gradually
decreasing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a tenth in five consecutive years.

Looking at the chart in more detail, North America’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
accounted for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
over 10%, which was the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
among other regions in 2006.
In addition
, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
declined and reached the bottom of roughly 5% in 2009,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
rising back to its initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
.
On the contrary
, European nations experienced a slight rise of 10% in 2008 compared to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
in 2006, followed by
marginally
falling to about 30% in 2010.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS academic The chart shows the percentage of car manufacturer 039 s total car sales in different regions from 2006 to 2010 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
213 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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