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the diagrams show how the bee makes honey, and the stages in the production of honey. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features. v.2

the diagrams show how the bee makes honey, and the stages in the production of honey.
The pictures show the steps involved in the life-cycle of the bee and the process by which honey is produced. Overall, it is noticed that there are 6 stages of making honey, from laying eggs in honeycomb to leaving nectar in a hive in order to become a honey. After that, production of honey experience 5 steps, starting with collecting honeycomb and finishing with distributing and selling. In terms of making honey, the first step is that a queen bee lays eggs in honeycomb, which is prepared beforehand. These eggs develop to become larvas. And until a week later, they get completely developed. The larvas need three more weeks to turn into bees to be able to leave the hive. Following this, the bees are mature enough to be capable of gathering nectar from flower and subsequently stimulating the nectar in hives, which is called honey, that are continuously produced to become commercial products. If we look at the process of producing honey. First of all, beekeepers remove the honeycomb from the hives. After being extracted the honeycomb by using a machine, honey is then boiled and cleaned. The last step is that the honey is poured into bottles so that they are delivered to bring to customers.
The pictures
show
the
steps
involved in the life-cycle of the bee and the process by which honey
is produced
.

Overall
, it
is noticed
that there are 6 stages of making honey, from laying eggs in
honeycomb
to leaving nectar in a hive in order to become a honey. After that, production of honey experience 5
steps
, starting with collecting
honeycomb
and finishing with distributing and selling.

In terms of making honey, the
first
step
is that a queen bee lays eggs in
honeycomb
, which
is prepared
beforehand. These eggs develop to become
larvas
. And until a week later, they
get
completely developed. The
larvas
need three more weeks to turn into bees to be able to
leave
the hive. Following this, the bees are mature
enough
to be capable of gathering nectar from flower and
subsequently
stimulating the nectar in hives, which
is called
honey, that are
continuously
produced to become commercial products.

If
we look at the process of producing honey.
First of all
, beekeepers remove the
honeycomb
from the hives. After
being extracted
the
honeycomb
by using a machine, honey is then boiled and cleaned. The last
step
is that the honey
is poured
into bottles
so
that they
are delivered
to bring to customers.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
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IELTS academic the diagrams show how the bee makes honey, and the stages in the production of honey.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
208 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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