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The diagrams billow show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where releva v.2

The diagrams billow show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
The image highlights both the process of cement making as well as concrete production by using cement. In the picture here a number of raw materials which generally use for making cement. After passing a long stage and process, the cement usally produce. Firstly, limestone, clay mix with together and those are converted into the power by using a crusher. Secondly, the powder goes on the mixer and from the mixer those powder goes into a cilinderacal rotating heater. Thirdly, after getting heat it uses a grinder which may produce cement perfectly. On the last step, cement puts in some bags for selling on the market. On the other hand, we can also see the process of concrete production where cement is being used. Besides, for producing concrete a huge amount of gravel which near about 50%, 25% of sand and 15% amount of cement has also taken. Not only that, it takes some water used for concrete production. At the end, those four ingreadiants marge with together on a large concrete mixer for producing concrete. To sum up, both the cement and concrete necessary for making a building.
The image highlights both the process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
making
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
concrete production by using cement.

In the picture here a number of raw materials which
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
. After passing a long stage and process, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
Possible spelling mistake found.
usally
produce.
Firstly
, limestone, clay mix with together and those
are converted
into the power by using a crusher.
Secondly
, the powder goes on the mixer and from the mixer those powder goes into a
Possible spelling mistake found.
cilinderacal
rotating heater.
Thirdly
, after getting heat it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
a grinder which may produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
perfectly
. On the last step,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
puts in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
bags for selling on the market.
On the other hand
, we can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the process of concrete production where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
Besides
, for producing concrete a huge amount of gravel which near about 50%, 25% of sand and 15% amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
has
also
taken. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, it takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for concrete production. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, those four
Possible spelling mistake found.
ingreadiants
marge with together on a large concrete mixer for producing concrete.

To sum up, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
and concrete necessary for making a building.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS academic The diagrams billow show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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