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The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where releva v.2

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
The diagrams represent the milestones of cement production and necessary equipments which are required to produce it as well as the way of usage this component in order to manufacture concrete for constructing goals. Overall, there are four stages for cement production, beginning from crushing untill packing ready material. Regarding to concrete production, equipment which involves 4 elements are needed to get the best mixture for building aims. First of all, the needful materials such as: limestone and clay are passed through crusher machine to become powder. After that ready powder is mixed together by mixer, before entering to rotating heater, where the mixed powder is heated at high temperature. And next, these materials are gone into grinder and finally ready to use cement is packed into bags. What is more, to produce concrete, there are four main elements, namely, cement, water, sand as well as gravel. As we can see, a merely 10% of water, 15% of cement, one fourth of sand and half of gravel are added and mixed in special concrete mixer in order to get composition for building purposes.
The diagrams represent the milestones of
cement
production and necessary equipments which
are required
to produce it
as well
as the way of usage this component in order to manufacture concrete for constructing goals.

Overall
, there are four stages for
cement
production, beginning from crushing
untill
packing ready material.
Regarding to
concrete production, equipment which involves 4 elements
are needed
to
get
the best mixture for building aims.

First of all
, the needful materials such as: limestone and clay
are passed
through crusher machine to become powder. After that ready powder
is mixed
together by mixer,
before
entering to rotating heater, where the mixed powder
is heated
at high temperature. And
next
, these materials
are gone
into grinder and
finally
ready to
use
cement
is packed
into bags.

What is more
, to produce concrete, there are four main elements,
namely
,
cement
, water, sand
as well
as gravel. As we can
see
, a
merely
10% of water, 15% of
cement
, one fourth of sand and half of gravel are
added
and mixed in special concrete mixer in order to
get
composition for building purposes.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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