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The two rendered maps exhibit the pre construction and post construction images for Paradise Island v.2

The two rendered maps exhibit the pre construction and post construction images for Paradise Island v. 2
The two maps illustrate the transformation of Paradise Island with the introduction of tourism. It is noticeable that the island has undergone significant modifications between the two phases. Overall, the new construction has allowed visitors to access to island by sea and provided them with a variety of services. Looking at the changes in more detail, we can see that in the past there were trees in the middle of the island. These are no longer present now, and instead we see the addition of an open restaurant at the center of the island with a BBQ area on the east side of the restaurant. There is a café that can be access by the restaurant by a new cycle path. In addition, a hotel complex and a swimming pool are seen on the west of the open restaurant, which was the location of a scientific research station in the past. The two maps also shows changes that have been made to the pier located to the west of Paradise Island. The pier has been modernized and it allows cruise ships, in stead of old boats, to dock. Furthermore, the guests visiting this island are provided with a swimming area on the beach situated to the northwest and a scenic outlook on the northeast of the island.
The two maps illustrate the transformation of Paradise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Island
with the introduction of tourism.

It is noticeable that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
has undergone significant modifications between the two phases.
Overall
, the new construction has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
visitors to access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
by sea and provided them with a variety of services.

Looking at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in more detail, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that in the past there were trees in the middle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
. These are no longer present
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, and
instead
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the addition of an open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
at the center of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
with a BBQ area on the east side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
. There is a café that can be access by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
by a new cycle path.
In addition
, a hotel complex and a swimming pool are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on the west of the open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
, which was the location of a scientific research station in the past.

The two maps
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that have
been made
to the pier located to the west of Paradise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Island
. The pier has
been modernized
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
cruise ships,
Did you mean "instead of"?
in stead of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
boats, to dock.
Furthermore
, the guests visiting this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
are provided
with a swimming area on the beach situated to the northwest and a scenic outlook on the northeast of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The two rendered maps exhibit the pre construction and post construction images for Paradise Island v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
217 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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