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The diagram below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. v.1

The diagram below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. v. 1
Two diagrams illustrate how equipment is used to product cement and process concrete-making from cement. There are five main stages are shown in process making cement and concrete. They are product power from limestone and clay, mix power, passing them through rotating heater, grinder cement and mixer concrete. Cement production include four steps. First, limestone and clay are crushed to power, then mix them. Next, taking power to pass through rotating heater to heat them. After heating, the power is ground and become cement. Cement can be packed to a lot bags and delivered to stores, on the other hand, it is enjoyed into next process to product concrete. Concrete-making process contains only one stages. We can be seen that 15% cement, 10% water, 25% sand and 50% gravel are took into concrete mixer, and then, they will be mixed to form concrete.
Two diagrams illustrate how equipment is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
concrete-making from cement.

There are five main stages
are shown
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
and concrete. They are product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
from limestone and clay, mix
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
, passing them through rotating heater, grinder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
and mixer concrete.

Cement production include four steps.
First
, limestone and clay
are crushed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
, then mix them.
Next
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
to pass through rotating heater to heat them. After heating, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
is ground
and become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cement
can
be packed
to
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of bags"?
a lot bags
and delivered to stores,
on the other hand
, it
is enjoyed
into
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
to product concrete.

Concrete-making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
contains
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one stages. We can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that 15%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, 10% water, 25% sand and 50% gravel are took into concrete mixer, and then, they will
be mixed
to form concrete.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The diagram below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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