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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.51

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 51
Firstly, the good citizens are a result of parental teaching. However, there is another view which emphasizes the role of schools in this process. In this assay both points of view will be considered before a conclusion, As a matter of fact, The parents play significant role in the teaching a good attitude to their kids. Although, they spend a lot of time in the school but the rest of the time include weekends and summer holidays they are bonding with parents which is a good time for teaching the points of being a good person with consideration of moral issues. Secondly, attending children in the schools with an educational process, there is a big chance to learn many things and also with improving their ability they would provide better relationship with others. For example when the kids interactive with their friends and participate in different classes, In fact they will learn discipline, punctuality and teamwork skills to be a good member of society in future. In conclusion, I support both views whether, there is more consideration of how the parents communicate with each other because the children observe any parent' s behavior and they are a role model for them.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
citizens are a result of parental teaching.
However
, there is another view which emphasizes the role of schools in this process.

In this assay both points of view will
be considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a conclusion, As a matter of fact, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play significant role in the teaching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
attitude to their kids. Although, they spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time in the school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the rest of the time include weekends and summer holidays they are bonding with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
which is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
time for teaching the points of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
person with consideration of moral issues.

Secondly
, attending children in the schools with an educational process, there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
chance to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things and
also
with improving their ability they would provide better relationship with others.
For example
when the kids interactive with their friends and participate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
classes, In fact they will learn discipline, punctuality and teamwork
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
member of society
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

In conclusion
, I support both views whether, there is more consideration of how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
communicate with each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the children observe any
Possible spelling mistake found.
parent&
#039; s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
behavior and
they are a role model for them.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS academic Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 51

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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