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The diagrams below give information about the Eiffel Tower in Paris and an outline project to extend it underground v.2

The diagrams below give information about the Eiffel Tower in Paris and an outline project to extend it underground v. 2
The diagrams illustrate the location of Eiffel Tower, which would be extended with underground beneath it, and the plan’s project. Eiffel Tower is placed in the west of Paris town and is located between Ecole Militaire’s building and Seine’s river. It is a metal structure that has 324 m height and 10. 100 tones weight. Moreover, There are 1665 steps to reach two viewing platform that Eiffel Tower have. If it is measured from the ground, While the distance to first platform is 57 m, the second ones has 115 m height. Looking for more details, Eiffel tower whose two tower’s foundations are planned to have five floors, two lifts –used to transfer passenger from one floor to others–, and glass ceiling positioned above the first floor that will consist of ticket office and access to tower. Following this, there are second level and third level that the former will contain shops and restaurants although the latter will connect to cinema and museum. Lastly, not only will parking lot be located in fourth level, but fifth level as well.
The diagrams illustrate the location of Eiffel Tower, which would
be extended
with underground beneath it, and the plan’s project.

Eiffel Tower
is placed
in the west of Paris town and
is located
between
Ecole
Militaire
’s building and Seine’s river. It is a metal structure that has 324 m height and 10. 100 tones weight.
Moreover
, There are 1665 steps to reach two viewing
platform
that Eiffel Tower have. If it
is measured
from the ground, While the distance to
first
platform is 57 m, the second ones has 115 m height.

Looking for more
details
,
Eiffel tower
whose two tower’s foundations
are planned
to have five floors, two lifts –
used
to transfer passenger from one floor to others–, and glass ceiling positioned above the
first
floor that will consist of ticket office and access to tower. Following this, there are second
level
and third
level
that the former will contain shops and restaurants although the latter will connect to cinema and museum.
Lastly
, not
only
will
parking
lot
be located
in fourth
level
,
but
fifth
level
as well
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS academic The diagrams below give information about the Eiffel Tower in Paris and an outline project to extend it underground v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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