Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. v.2

The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. v. 2
The two diagrams illustrate the cement-making process. We can see from the given illustration that cement is manufactured first, and then it's used in the concrete production. In the first diagram, we can see that limestone is the raw material with which clay added. Firstly, the two materials are crushed to form the powder. Then this powder passes through a mixer and a heater through which the powder is exposed to flame. The powder now is in the form of a paste. This paste is grinded to be cement to pass through the last process; packing in bags. The second diagram shows that cement can be used to produce concrete. This process is simpler than cement production; concrete is a mixture of 15% cement, 10 % water, 25% sand and 50 % small stones which are named as "Gravel". The four elements are poured in a huge mixer which rotates producing concrete. We can see that once the cement is produced by several steps and equipment, it can be used in other less complicated processes, for instance, concrete production.
The two diagrams illustrate the cement-making
process
. We can
see
from the
given
illustration that
cement
is manufactured
first
, and then it's
used
in the concrete production.

In the
first
diagram, we can
see
that limestone is the raw material with which clay
added
.
Firstly
, the two materials
are crushed
to form the
powder
. Then this
powder
passes through a mixer and a heater through which the
powder
is exposed
to flame. The
powder
now
is in the form of a paste. This paste is
grinded
to be
cement
to pass through the last
process
; packing in bags.

The second diagram
shows
that
cement
can be
used
to produce concrete. This
process
is simpler than
cement
production; concrete is a mixture of 15%
cement
, 10 % water, 25% sand and 50 %
small
stones which
are named
as
"
Gravel
"
. The four elements
are poured
in a huge mixer which rotates producing concrete. We can
see
that once the
cement
is produced
by several steps and equipment, it can be
used
in other less complicated
processes
,
for instance
, concrete production.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts