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The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features v.2

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced.
The diagram illustrates the steps involved in the production of milk and its products. Overall, there are about seven stages involved in the process from feeding and tending of the cows to the final products made. At first, the cows are well fed and cared for before they are taken to the machine for milking which is done twice a day. Next, the expressed milk is stored in a fridge after which it is transferred to a milk tanker for daily delivery. In subsequent stages, the delivery van transport the milk to the dairy where it is being well processed. After this, a well packaged pasteurized milk is produced or a cheese, cream and butter is produced on the other hand. Finally, the products are displayed and sold out at retail stores.
The diagram illustrates the steps involved in the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
and its products.
Overall
, there are about seven stages involved in the process from feeding and tending of the cows to the final products made.

At
first
, the cows are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well fed
and cared for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
are taken
to the machine for milking which
is done
twice a day.
Next
, the expressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
is stored
in a fridge after which it
is transferred
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
tanker for daily delivery.

In subsequent stages, the delivery van transport the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
to the dairy where it is being well processed. After this, a well packaged pasteurized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
is produced
or a cheese, cream and butter
is produced
on the other hand
.
Finally
, the products
are displayed
and sold out at retail stores.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
132 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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