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The diagram below shows the process of producing photographs using digital equipment. Digital Camera + smart cardCapturing image, recordingComputer editing cutting formatingsending emails, storing CDphoto paperPrintercolour photosblack and white photos v.1

The diagram below shows the process of producing photographs using digital equipment. Digital Camera + smart cardCapturing image, recordingComputer editing cutting formatingsending emails, storing CDphoto paperPrintercolour photosblack and white photos v. 1
The given image is a diagrammatic illustration of the process of producing photographs with the help of latest digital technology. The entire procedure contains three main steps namely capturing, editing and printing. The process begins when an image is clicked or a video is recorded on the digital camera which contains a storage unit like a smart memory card. The data stored on this memory card is then downloaded to a computer where the images are formatted and cropped. This improves the final quality of the picture. The edited images can then be sent by e-mail or stored on a compact disc for later use and sharing. It may also be forwarded to a printing device equipped with special photo paper for printing coloured or black and white photos. Thus, in order to generate a high quality physical photo, three main devices are essential. These devices are a digital camera, a computer capable of processing the data and a printing unit.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
image
is a diagrammatic illustration of the process of producing photographs with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
digital technology. The entire procedure contains three main steps
namely
capturing, editing and printing.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
when an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
image
is clicked
or a video
is recorded
on the digital camera which contains a storage unit like a smart memory card.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
data stored on this memory card is then downloaded to a computer where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
are formatted
and cropped. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the final quality of the picture.

The edited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
can then be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
by e-mail or stored on a
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
compact disc
for later
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and sharing. It may
also
be forwarded
to a printing device equipped with special photo paper for printing
Possible spelling mistake. 'coloured' is British English.
coloured
or black and white photos.

Thus
, in order to generate a high quality physical photo, three main devices are essential. These devices are a digital camera, a computer capable of processing the data and a printing unit.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS academic The diagram below shows the process of producing photographs using digital equipment. Digital Camera + smart cardCapturing image, recordingComputer editing cutting formatingsending emails, storing CDphoto paperPrintercolour photosblack and white photos v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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