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The diagram below shows the production and processing of milk and dairy products for commercial sale Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.2

The diagram below shows the production and processing of milk and dairy products for commercial sale
The diagram illustrates the way milk, cheese, cream and butter are produced, processed and packaged for sale to consumers. Overall, there are 8 stages in the diagram, starting with cows grazing on grass, to the sale of dairy products in supermarkets and shops. In the first four stages, cows graze in the fields, after which they are taken to a milking machine twice a day. Following this, the milk is put into refrigeration storage on a daily basis. Next, the milk is put into a tanker where it is then ready to be delivered to the dairy on a daily basis. In the last four stages, once the milk is delivered to the dairy, it is subsequently put through a pasteurization process. It is then turned into various dairy products such as cheese, cream and butter. Finally, as soon as the milk and dairy products have been processed and packaged, they are then sent out to supermarkets and shops where they are ready for purchase by consumers.
The diagram illustrates the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
, cheese, cream and butter
are produced
, processed and packaged for sale to consumers.

Overall
, there are 8 stages in the diagram, starting with cows grazing on grass, to the sale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
products in supermarkets and shops.

In the
first
four stages, cows graze in the fields, after which they
are taken
to a milking machine twice a day. Following this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
is put
into refrigeration storage on a daily basis.
Next
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
is put
into a tanker where it is then ready to
be delivered
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
on a daily basis.

In the last four stages, once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
is delivered
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
, it is
subsequently
put through a pasteurization process. It is then turned into various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
products such as cheese, cream and butter.
Finally
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
products have
been processed
and packaged, they are then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
out to supermarkets and shops where they are ready for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
by consumers.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS academic The diagram below shows the production and processing of milk and dairy products for commercial sale

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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