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The diagram show the stages and equipments used in the process of cement making and how is used to produce the concrete for building purposes. v.2

The diagram show the stages and equipments used in the process of cement making and how is used to produce the concrete for building purposes. v. 2
The provided flow diagrams reveal the information about the process of cement and concrete manufacturing by some necessary material and instruments. Overall, it is evident that, the steps of making cement are more complicated, and require advanced machinery, while the concrete production utilize mixing of four components in the proportions, in simple machine. It can be seen that, the production procedure of cement consists of four main stages: crushing, mixing, rotating, and grinding. At the first step, not only crush limestone, but also crush clay together to make powder. Nextly, the powder can then be mixed properly, in the mixer. It is then passed through the narrow rotating tube. Heat is introduced from the end of the tube before the blend is actually dropped on the grinder. After that, cement is made, and packed in the bags. The manufacturing of concrete, four components are required, that are cement (50%), water (10%), sand (25%), and gravel (50%). After that, they put together into the concrete mixer, which rotate in the clock-wuse position in order to mix the given material.
The provided flow diagrams reveal the information about the process of
cement
and concrete manufacturing by
some
necessary material and instruments.

Overall
, it is evident that, the steps of making
cement
are more complicated, and require advanced machinery, while the concrete production utilize mixing of four components in the proportions, in simple machine.

It can be
seen
that, the production procedure of
cement
consists of four main stages: crushing, mixing, rotating, and grinding. At the
first
step, not
only
crush limestone,
but
also
crush clay together to
make
powder.
Nextly
, the powder can then
be mixed
properly
, in the mixer. It is then passed through the narrow rotating tube. Heat
is introduced
from the
end
of the tube
before
the blend is actually dropped on the grinder. After that,
cement
is made
, and packed in the bags.

The manufacturing of concrete, four components
are required
, that are
cement
(50%), water (10%), sand (25%), and gravel (50%). After that, they put together into the concrete mixer, which rotate in the
clock-wuse
position in order to mix the
given
material.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS academic The diagram show the stages and equipments used in the process of cement making and how is used to produce the concrete for building purposes. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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