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the diagram below shows the tiny town of headly village eventually merging with fonton city from the period 1925 to 1975 till now v.1

the diagram below shows the tiny town of headly village eventually merging with fonton city from the period 1925 to 1975 till now v. 1
the set of pictures illustrate that the steady development of the herdly village to become headly suburb of the fonton city over a long years, that is form 1925, 1975 until to date. In 1925, there was a small sleppy town village on the west side of the fonton city. Village had road runningform north to east side and west to south side. There was railway track in the fonton citty. Over a period of the 50 years, a few remarkable changes occurred. There was a significant expansion of the fonton city on its western portion. The highway was built in 1975. The leisure center and housing estate were constructed. The road extended west side to east side. No existence of the herdly village but it has melted in to the fonton city and has become an integral part of it. The local shop has replaced by supermarket. The business park has built in south side. The railway station has extended. In the north side of the fonton city, the hotel has built.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
set of pictures illustrate that the steady development of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
herdly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
to become
Possible spelling mistake found.
headly
suburb of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fonton
city over a long
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "year"?
years
,
that is
form 1925, 1975 until to date.

In 1925, there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Possible spelling mistake found.
sleppy
town
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
on the west side of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fonton
city.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Village
had road
Possible spelling mistake found.
runningform
north to east side and west to south side. There was railway
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fonton
Possible spelling mistake found.
citty
.

Over a period of the 50 years, a few remarkable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
occurred. There was a significant expansion of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fonton
city on its western portion. The highway
was built
in 1975. The leisure center and housing estate
were constructed
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
road extended west side to east side.

No existence of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
herdly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has melted in to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fonton
city and has become an integral part of it. The local shop has replaced by supermarket. The business park has built in south side.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
railway station has extended. In the north side of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fonton
city, the hotel has built.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes

IELTS academic the diagram below shows the tiny town of headly village eventually merging with fonton city from the period 1925 to 1975 till now v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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