Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Study the graph in figure below, which show changes in the amount of food produced in different parts of the world between 1965 and 1988. v.2

Study the graph in figure below, which show changes in the amount of food produced in different parts of the world between 1965 and 1988. v. 2
The given line graph describes the information about how much food produced in given four countries between year 1965 and 1988. As it can be clearly seen from the graph that, in 1965 Africa produced 100 amount of food and the graph remained stable till1970. After that it decreased dramatically and reached at 80 in 1988. Western Europe had 110 amount of food and that it significantly increased and reached to approximately 12. In 1980, the graph shows a zigzag trend it stopped at 130 amount. In remained two countries, Asia produced stable amount of food till 1975, but it drastically rise in 3 years and reached at 150 which was the best amount of food production. As observed in north America, the figure was constant in 1 year and dramatically rose by 120 amount, . After 1975, the graph showed some zigzag trend. It fell to recover between 1980 t0 1985. It dropped down 110 amount food in 1988. In conclusion, Africa had lowest amount of food production, while, north America stabilize their performance after some zigzag trend. finally Asia was top level country in food production.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the information about how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
produced in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
four countries between year 1965 and 1988.

As it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
that, in 1965 Africa produced 100
Possible agreement error. The noun 'amount' seems to be countable, so consider using: "amounts".
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
remained stable till1970. After that it decreased
dramatically
and reached at 80 in 1988. Western Europe had 110
Possible agreement error. The noun 'amount' seems to be countable, so consider using: "amounts".
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and that it
significantly
increased and reached to approximately 12. In 1980, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a zigzag trend it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
at 130
Possible agreement error. The noun 'amount' seems to be countable, so consider using: "amounts".
amount
.

In remained two countries, Asia produced stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
till 1975,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
drastically
Did you mean "rises"?
rise
in 3 years and reached at 150 which was the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production. As observed in
Capitalize specific, well-defined geographical regions: "North America"
north America
, the figure was constant in 1 year and
dramatically
rose by 120
Possible agreement error. The noun 'amount' seems to be countable, so consider using: "amounts".
amount
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
After 1975, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
zigzag trend. It fell to recover between 1980 t0 1985. It
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "dropped".
dropped down
110
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in 1988.

In conclusion
, Africa had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production, while,
Capitalize specific, well-defined geographical regions: "North America"
north America
stabilize their performance after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
zigzag trend.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
finally
Asia was
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top level
country in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS academic Study the graph in figure below, which show changes in the amount of food produced in different parts of the world between 1965 and 1988. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts