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The diagram below shows the steps in the hiring process at ACME corporation. v.1

The diagram below shows the steps in the hiring process at ACME corporation. v. 1
The process diagram shows different stages of ACME corporation's recruitment process, commencing from application submission by the prospective candidates, which ends by either offering a permanent position in the company or denying any position at all. As is presented, initially candidates are invited to submit their applications to be considered for the jobs in ACME corporation. Those who apply to this company for a job have to attend an initial qualification interview. The authority distinguishes the candidates who have faced the interview in two categories - 'meet the basic qualification' and 'do not meet the basic qualification'. The applicants of the latter category are disqualified while the candidates who meet the qualifications are further tested. In the next step, the qualifying applicants take an aptitude test, based on which they are either marked as failed or passed. Failed candidates are left out from the recruitment process while the successful applicants are offered a position on a six-moth probation who are evaluated after the probation period. At this stage, a recommendation made either to discard those temporary employees or to offer them permanent positions in the company.
The process diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages of ACME corporation's recruitment process, commencing from application submission by the prospective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
, which ends by either offering a permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or denying any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
at all.

As
is presented
,
initially
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candidates
are invited
to submit their applications to
be considered
for the jobs in ACME corporation. Those
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who
apply to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for a job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attend an initial qualification interview. The authority distinguishes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have faced the interview in two categories
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the basic qualification' and 'do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the basic qualification'. The applicants of the latter category
are disqualified
while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the qualifications are
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
. In the
next
step, the qualifying applicants take an aptitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
, based on which they are either marked as failed or passed. Failed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out from the recruitment process while the successful applicants
are offered
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
on a six-moth probation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are evaluated
after the probation period. At this stage, a recommendation made either to discard those temporary employees or to offer them permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The diagram below shows the steps in the hiring process at ACME corporation. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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