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The table below shows personal saving as a percentage of personal income for selected countries in 1970, 1990 and 2010. v.1

The table below shows personal saving as a percentage of personal income for selected countries in 1970, 1990 and 2010. v. 1
The table data gives information on the percentages of savings from the personal income of people in seven different countries in three different years - 1990, 2000 and 2010. As is obvious, Japanse, French and  Italian citizens amassed the highest percentages of their income and the savings percentages decreased over the time. Now, turning back to the details, the percentages of income devoted to savings by the people in these countries considerably decreased in 2010 compared to that of 1990 except in the UK. The highest savings were done by the Italians in 1990 and the percentage of their savings was almost 30 which reduced to only about 17 percent in 2000 and 11. 4 in 2010. French and Japanese also saved over 17% of their income in 1990 which became 13. 6% after 20 years for both of these citizens. Interestingly, Canada in the only country where people managed to almost double their savings in 2000 than that of ten years earlier but after further ten years, their savings ration became very little and lower than the savings of people in any other country. Compared to the savings ratio in 2000, only French Japanese and British had been able to save more in 2010 and in the remaining countries, people's individual savings in terms of their income plunged.
The table data gives information on the
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percentages
of
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savings
from the personal
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income
of
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people
in seven
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different
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countries
in three
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different
years
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
1990, 2000 and 2010. As is obvious,
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Japanse
, French and
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Italian citizens amassed the highest
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percentages
of their
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income
and the
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savings
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percentages
decreased over the time.

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Now
, turning back to the
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details
, the
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percentages
of
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income
devoted to
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savings
by the
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people
in these
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countries
considerably
decreased in 2010 compared to that of 1990 except in the UK. The highest
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savings
were done
by the Italians in 1990 and the
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percentage
of their
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savings
was almost 30 which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to
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only
about 17 percent in 2000 and 11. 4 in 2010. French and Japanese
also
saved over 17% of their
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income
in 1990 which became 13. 6% after 20 years for both of these citizens.
Interestingly
, Canada in the
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only
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country
where
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people
managed to almost double their
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savings
in 2000 than that of ten years earlier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after
further
ten years, their
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savings
ration became
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very
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little
and lower than the
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savings
of
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people
in any other
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country
. Compared to the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "savings'" or "saving's"?
savings
ratio in 2000,
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only
French Japanese and British had been able to save more in 2010 and in the remaining
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countries
,
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people
's individual
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savings
in terms of their
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income
plunged.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below shows personal saving as a percentage of personal income for selected countries in 1970, 1990 and 2010. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
219 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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