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The chart below shows the total number of munites ( in billions) of telephone calls in the UK. divided into categories, from 1995 - 2002. v.2

The chart below shows the total number of munites ( in billions) of telephone calls in the UK. divided into categories, from 1995 - 2002. v. 2
The multiple bar graph illustrates the information about the quantity of all telephone calls time in England and it was categorized into three partitions (local to fixed-line, national and international - fixed-line and mobiles) between 1995 and 2002. Units are measured in billion minutes. Generally speaking, the number of mobile calls and national and international to landline calls were gradually increased while, local to landline calls have been wend up and went down in this time period. Indeed, caller time off into the UK was approximately 75 billion minutes which was the majority in 1995 while, mobile caller time and other type were about 3 billion minutes and 38 billion munites respectively. The number of handphone usage had been steadily climbed so that, it was improved from 4 billion to an exact 50 billion when 2002. Furthermore, the least significant difference between every call types year was in 2002. To sum up, communicating time through Britain using landline was exceeded that of the other two types of transition mode in a given time period.
The multiple bar graph illustrates the information about the quantity of all telephone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in England and it
was categorized
into three partitions (local to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
-line, national and international
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
-line and mobiles) between 1995 and 2002. Units
are measured
in
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
minutes.

Generally
speaking, the number of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
and national and international to landline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
were
gradually
increased while, local to landline
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calls
have been
Consider using a past participle here: "wended".
wend
up and went down in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period.

Indeed
, caller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
off into the UK was approximately 75
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billion
minutes which was the majority in 1995 while, mobile caller
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time
and other type were about 3
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billion
minutes and 38
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
munites
respectively
. The number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
handphone
usage had been
steadily
climbed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
from 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
to an exact 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
when 2002.
Furthermore
, the least significant difference between every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
call
types year was in 2002.

To sum up, communicating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
through Britain using landline
was exceeded
that of the other two types of transition mode in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below shows the total number of munites ( in billions) of telephone calls in the UK. divided into categories, from 1995 - 2002. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
174 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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