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The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. v.3

The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. v. 3
The diagram illustrates the brick manufacturing process in an orderly manner starting from the digging of clay. As is seen in the given illustration, brick manufacturing is a complex process and involves 7 stages until they are ready to be sold in the market. The process is initiated by digging clay with the help of a heavy machinery digger. This clay is then refined through the metal grid which throws the refined clay on the rollers. Sand and water are mixed and this mixture is either moulded or cut using a wire cutter to give the bricks a raw shape. These bricks are put in a drying oven for one to two days. The dried bricks are then passed to kilns with moderate (200 to 980 degree C) and high temperature (870 to 1300 degree C) and finally placed in a cooling chamber for 48-72 hours. After cooling down the bricks, they are placed on a pallet for packaging and to be loaded on a lorry for delivery. In conclusion, the process of manufacturing bricks is a complex process which passes through several stages before the bricks are ready to be used.
The diagram illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brick
manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
Consider replacing "in an orderly manner" with the adverb for "orderly"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an orderly manner
starting from the digging of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
. As is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustration,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brick
manufacturing is a complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
and involves 7 stages until they are ready to
be sold
in the market.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
is initiated
by digging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of a heavy machinery digger. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
is then refined through the metal grid which throws the refined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
on the rollers. Sand and water
are mixed
and this mixture is either
Possible spelling mistake found.
moulded
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
using a wire cutter to give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
a raw shape. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are put
in a drying oven for one to two days. The dried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are then passed to kilns with moderate (200 to 980 degree C) and high temperature (870 to 1300 degree C) and
finally
placed in a cooling chamber for 48-72 hours. After cooling down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
, they
are placed
on a pallet for packaging and to
be loaded
on a lorry for delivery.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
is a complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
which passes through several stages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are ready to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS academic The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. v. 3

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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