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The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. v.3

The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. v. 3
The diagram illustrates the brick manufacturing process in an orderly manner starting from the digging of clay. As is seen in the given illustration, brick manufacturing is a complex process and involves 7 stages until they are ready to be sold in the market. The process is initiated by digging clay with the help of a heavy machinery digger. This clay is then refined through the metal grid which throws the refined clay on the rollers. Sand and water are mixed and this mixture is either moulded or cut using a wire cutter to give the bricks a raw shape. These bricks are put in a drying oven for one to two days. The dried bricks are then passed to kilns with moderate (200 to 980 degree C) and high temperature (870 to 1300 degree C) and finally placed in a cooling chamber for 48-72 hours. After cooling down the bricks, they are placed on a pallet for packaging and to be loaded on a lorry for delivery. In conclusion, the process of manufacturing bricks is a complex process which passes through several stages before the bricks are ready to be used.
The diagram illustrates the
brick
manufacturing
process
in an orderly manner
starting from the digging of
clay
. As is
seen
in the
given
illustration,
brick
manufacturing is a complex
process
and involves 7 stages until they are ready to
be sold
in the market.

The
process
is initiated
by digging
clay
with the
help
of a heavy machinery digger. This
clay
is then refined through the metal grid which throws the refined
clay
on the rollers. Sand and water
are mixed
and this mixture is either
moulded
or
cut
using a wire cutter to give the
bricks
a raw shape. These
bricks
are put
in a drying oven for one to two days. The dried
bricks
are then passed to kilns with moderate (200 to 980 degree C) and high temperature (870 to 1300 degree C) and
finally
placed in a cooling chamber for 48-72 hours. After cooling down the
bricks
, they
are placed
on a pallet for packaging and to
be loaded
on a lorry for delivery.

In conclusion
, the
process
of manufacturing
bricks
is a complex
process
which passes through several stages
before
the
bricks
are ready to be
used
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. v. 3

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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