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The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. v.2

The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. v. 2
The diagram gives information about the manufacturing process of construction bricks. Overall, brick manufacturing requires some controlled stages and complex equipment. To begin with, the clay is collected by a digger machine and then the clay is passed through a metal grid to grind them. The smashed clays are transported to a roller and sand and water are mixed with this. The mixture later either moves through a brick cutter, which shape of bricks, or is placed into a mould in which the shape of a brick is formed. Afterwards, these brick-shaped parts are put into a drying oven and stay there for 24 to 48 hours. Next, they are transferred to the first kiln for heating, whose temperature is moderate, 200 to 980 C. After this, they are heated in the second kiln under the high temperature from 870-1300C. Subsequently, in a cooling chamber, they are cooled for two to three days before they are packaged and delivered to the construction sites. To summarise, the whole process consists of generally seven steps during which the raw material is dried, heated, cooled and packaged.
The diagram gives information about the manufacturing process of construction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
.
Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brick
manufacturing requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
controlled stages and complex equipment.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the clay
is collected
by a digger machine and then the clay
is passed
through a metal grid to grind them. The smashed clays
are transported
to a roller and sand and water
are mixed
with this. The mixture later either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
through a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brick
cutter, which shape of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
, or
is placed
into a
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
in which the shape of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brick
is formed
. Afterwards, these brick-shaped parts
are put
into a drying oven and stay there for 24 to 48 hours.
Next
, they
are transferred
to the
first
kiln for heating, whose temperature is moderate, 200 to 980 C. After this, they
are heated
in the second kiln under the high temperature from 870-1300C.
Subsequently
, in a cooling chamber, they
are cooled
for two to three days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
are packaged
and delivered to the construction sites.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, the whole process consists of
generally
seven steps during which the raw material
is dried
, heated, cooled and packaged.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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