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The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. v.1

The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. v. 1
The given diagram shows different stages of brick manufacturing for the building industries. Generally speaking, brick production involves 7 steps, starting from the digging stages and ending at the delivery stage. As is given in the graph, the first step of brick manufacturing is digging the clay with a large digger. This clay is then filtered and processed in a roller machine and then mixed with sand and water. In the third stage, the mixture is either kept in a mould or cut in a wire cutter to make the raw shape of the bricks. In the next step, the shaped raw bricks are dried for 24 to 48 hours in a drying oven. After that, the dried raw bricks are kept in a kiln, both in moderate and high temperature, up to 1300 degree centigrade and then placed in a cooling chamber for about 48 to 72 hours. This process makes the brick to be packed and delivered in the final two steps. The delivery process is the final process of brick manufacturing and as it is noted, brick making is a moderately complex process that requires some predefined works to make it usable.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages of
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brick
manufacturing for the building industries.
Generally
speaking,
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brick
production involves 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
, starting from the digging stages and ending at the delivery stage.

As is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the graph, the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brick
manufacturing is digging the clay with a large digger. This clay is then filtered and processed in a roller machine and then mixed with sand and water. In the third stage, the mixture is either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in a
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
in a wire cutter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the raw shape of the
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bricks
. In the
next
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step
, the shaped raw
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bricks
are dried
for 24 to 48 hours in a drying oven. After that, the dried raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in a kiln, both in moderate and high temperature, up to 1300 degree centigrade and then placed in a cooling chamber for about 48 to 72 hours. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brick
to
be packed
and delivered in the final two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
. The delivery
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process
is the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of
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brick
manufacturing and as it
is noted
,
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brick
making is a
moderately
complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
that requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
predefined works to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it usable.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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