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The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. v.1

The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. v. 1
The given diagram shows different stages of brick manufacturing for the building industries. Generally speaking, brick production involves 7 steps, starting from the digging stages and ending at the delivery stage. As is given in the graph, the first step of brick manufacturing is digging the clay with a large digger. This clay is then filtered and processed in a roller machine and then mixed with sand and water. In the third stage, the mixture is either kept in a mould or cut in a wire cutter to make the raw shape of the bricks. In the next step, the shaped raw bricks are dried for 24 to 48 hours in a drying oven. After that, the dried raw bricks are kept in a kiln, both in moderate and high temperature, up to 1300 degree centigrade and then placed in a cooling chamber for about 48 to 72 hours. This process makes the brick to be packed and delivered in the final two steps. The delivery process is the final process of brick manufacturing and as it is noted, brick making is a moderately complex process that requires some predefined works to make it usable.
The
given
diagram
shows
different
stages of
brick
manufacturing for the building industries.
Generally
speaking,
brick
production involves 7
steps
, starting from the digging stages and ending at the delivery stage.

As is
given
in the graph, the
first
step
of
brick
manufacturing is digging the clay with a large digger. This clay is then filtered and processed in a roller machine and then mixed with sand and water. In the third stage, the mixture is either
kept
in a
mould
or
cut
in a wire cutter to
make
the raw shape of the
bricks
. In the
next
step
, the shaped raw
bricks
are dried
for 24 to 48 hours in a drying oven. After that, the dried raw
bricks
are
kept
in a kiln, both in moderate and high temperature, up to 1300 degree centigrade and then placed in a cooling chamber for about 48 to 72 hours. This
process
makes
the
brick
to
be packed
and delivered in the final two
steps
. The delivery
process
is the final
process
of
brick
manufacturing and as it
is noted
,
brick
making is a
moderately
complex
process
that requires
some
predefined works to
make
it usable.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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