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The diagram below shows the environmental issues raised by a product over its lifecycle. v.2

The diagram below shows the environmental issues raised by a product over its lifecycle. v. 2
The diagram illustrates environmental issues created by a consumer product during its lifecycle. It can be clearly seen that there are seven steps in the product manufacturing process, beginning with planning and design and culminating in recycling and these steps have negative consequences to the environment. To begin with, the product manufacturing begins with the planning and design. Once it is complete, the next step, consumption of materials and energy resources, takes place which is followed by manufacturing of the product. These two steps consume natural resource and emit waste and CO2 which is detrimental to the environment. Afterwards, the products are packed, distributed and offered in retail outlets. The products are unquestionably used by customers who either dispose the product or recycle it. Disposal of products seriously harms the environment. However, recycling of the product reduces negative impacts on the ecosystem. Moreover, customers provide feedback in order to improve the product planning.
The diagram illustrates environmental issues created by a consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
during its lifecycle. It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there are seven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
manufacturing process, beginning with planning and design and culminating in recycling and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
the environment.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with the planning and design. Once it is complete, the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, consumption of materials and energy resources, takes place which
is followed
by manufacturing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. These two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
consume natural resource and emit waste and CO2 which is detrimental to the environment.

Afterwards, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are packed
, distributed and offered in retail outlets. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
unquestionably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by customers who either dispose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or recycle it. Disposal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
seriously
harms the environment.
However
, recycling of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the ecosystem.
Moreover
, customers provide feedback in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
planning.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The diagram below shows the environmental issues raised by a product over its lifecycle. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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