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The diagram below show that the environmental issues raised by the product over its life cycle. v.2

The diagram below show that the environmental issues raised by the product over its life cycle. v. 2
The diagram gives informations about the total effect on the environment during the product lifecycle. Use of the product not only reason of the environment issue but also the manufacturing of product to till end of life span also cause the environment problem. Firstly, new product is under design and development process. It take more electricity. Then it goes for manufactur. It also require row material and energy sources. It harmfull to environment. Adding to, the production with the help of forklift and plenty of machinery which runs by the fueland directly affect on the air pollution. During the packing the material, plastic paper more usefull and also harm to the landfield. After the finished material supply to the retailer next to the shops. The customer deal with material help of the features such as design, prise and product quality and quantity. In the last, after use of product should be disposal or it recycling further process used. Product feedback is neccessary because of it fullfill the customer needs. Overall, Throught the whole process, material of the product directly or indirectly effect on the environment. Throughout it cause water, air and land pollutions.
The diagram gives
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
about the total effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
lifecycle.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reason of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the manufacturing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of life span
also
cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
problem.

Firstly
, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is under design and development process. It
Did you mean "takes"?
take
more electricity. Then it goes for
Possible spelling mistake found.
manufactur
. It
also
Did you mean "requires"?
require
row
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
and energy sources. It
Possible spelling mistake found.
harmfull
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Adding to, the production with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of forklift and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of machinery which runs by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fueland
directly
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on the air pollution.

During the packing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
, plastic paper more
Possible spelling mistake found.
usefull
and
also
harm to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
landfield
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
the finished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
supply to the retailer
next
to the shops. The customer deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the features such as design,
Possible spelling mistake found.
prise
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
quality and quantity. In the last, after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
should be disposal or it recycling
further
process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Product
feedback is
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfill
the customer needs.

Overall
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Throught
the whole process,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
directly
or
indirectly
effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Throughout it cause water, air and land pollutions.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS academic The diagram below show that the environmental issues raised by the product over its life cycle. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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