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The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts. v.2

The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts. v. 2
Ways of data gathering, its analysis and weather forecasting, as well as broadcasting methods followed by the Australian Bureau of Meteorology to produce accurate weather forecast,   are illustrated in the process flowchart. As shown in the diagram, the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects information from different sources, like satellites hovering in space, radar sets positioned at different places on the Earth and drifting buoys anchored to the seabed in the vicinity of the continent. Before forecasting all input data need to be analyzed, using radar screens and synoptic charts. The former is designed on the basis of source materials coming from the satellite and radar sets, whereas the latter is compiled on the basis of the information from all sources mentioned above. As soon as the information analyzed and the forecast is done, it is prepared for broadcasting. Finally, precisely prepared forecast information reaches TV studios, radio stations and places where it can be recorded for further announcement.
Ways of data gathering, its analysis and weather forecasting,
as well
as broadcasting methods followed by the Australian Bureau of Meteorology to produce accurate weather forecast,
 
are illustrated
in the process flowchart.

As shown in the diagram, the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects
information
from
different
sources, like satellites hovering in space, radar sets positioned at
different
places on the Earth and drifting buoys anchored to the seabed in the vicinity of the continent.
Before
forecasting all input data need to
be analyzed
, using radar screens and synoptic charts. The former
is designed
on the basis of source materials coming from the satellite and radar sets, whereas the latter
is compiled
on the basis of the
information
from all sources mentioned above. As
soon
as the
information
analyzed and the forecast
is done
, it
is prepared
for broadcasting.
Finally
,
precisely
prepared forecast
information
reaches TV studios, radio stations and places where it can
be recorded
for
further
announcement.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts. v. 2

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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