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The charts below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. v.1

The charts below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. v. 1
The figures illustrate the result of an opinion survey about the reason why adult people choose to study and how tuition costs should be funded. It is clear that based on the survey result, the two main reasons why adults have continued their study are due to they are interested in subjects and to obtain the degree. It is also noticed that the survey also shows that most of the education cost should be funded by individuals themselves. It can be seen that the two main purposes why adult continue their study are because they interested with the program and to obtain the qualification, as these two reasons result reached 40% and 38% respectively. Meanwhile, the percentages of the survey for reasons of helpful for their current job, improving prospect and promotion, and that they like studying were in the range between 22% and 20%. As for figures of those who study for the purpose of changing jobs and to meet new people, they were below 15% each. As for the survey result of the education cost, it is obvious that 40% of the cost should become the burden of the respective person themselves. Then 35% should be provided by the employer and 25% from the taxpayer.
The figures illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of an opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why adult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and how tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
should
be funded
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
, the two main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why adults have continued their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
are due to they
are interested
in subjects and to obtain the degree. It is
also
noticed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that most of the education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
should
be funded
by individuals themselves.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
It
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the two main purposes why adult continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they interested with the program and to obtain the qualification, as these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
reached 40% and 38%
respectively
. Meanwhile, the percentages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of helpful for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
job, improving prospect and promotion, and that they like studying were in the range between 22% and 20%. As for figures of those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for the purpose of changing jobs and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, they were below 15% each.

As for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of the education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
, it is obvious that 40% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
should become the burden of the respective person themselves. Then 35% should
be provided
by the employer and 25% from the taxpayer.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The charts below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
207 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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