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The charts below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. v.2

The charts below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. v. 2
The figures in the chart show what motivates adults to study and the ratio of funding for the same. Overall, it is apparent that most students are lured to study due to their love for the subjects and due to this, the largest portion of study cost must be borne by the individual himself, in their opinion. The first chart intends to show that most students are keen to study due to their interest in a subject and to gain higher qualifications. The latter accounts for 38%; there being only 2% difference with the former at 40%. Out of 100, 22 students opine that studying would support their incumbent job. For those students who profess that study would help them in getting a promotion and that it is an interesting activity, an equal result is gathered (20%). A meagre number of students, 12% and 9%, feel that study would assist them to get a new job and that it will build acquaintances with new people. From the second chart, it is seen that the individual should be the highest cost bearer for his own study (40%). Next, comes the employer at 35% and after that the taxpayer with the least burden (25%) of the cost.
The figures in the chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
what motivates adults to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and the ratio of funding for the same.
Overall
, it is apparent that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are lured
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
due to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for the subjects and due to this, the largest portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
cost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be borne
by the individual himself, in their opinion.

The
first
chart intends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are keen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
due to their interest in a subject and to gain higher qualifications. The latter accounts for 38%; there being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% difference with the former at 40%. Out of 100, 22
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
opine that studying would support their incumbent job. For those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who profess that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in getting a promotion and that it is an interesting activity, an equal result
is gathered
(20%). A
Possible spelling mistake. 'meagre' is British English.
meagre
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, 12% and 9%, feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
would assist them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a new job and that it will build acquaintances with new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

From the second chart, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the individual should be the highest cost bearer for his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
(40%).
Next
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
the employer at 35% and after that the taxpayer with the least burden (25%) of the cost.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS academic The charts below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
205 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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