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The charts below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. v.4

The charts below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. v. 4
The graphs reveal the outputs of a research through education for adults. The first picture describes the motivation of adult who determines to study. The second picture unveils people’s opinion about how the cost of adult education should be done together. The data supplied indicate that the major factor of adult education is due to attraction to subjects. However, meeting new people is considered as the least favoured purpose to study. Meanwhile, other varieties of assumptions on how adult education cost should be paid are presented in the second picture. Individual spending becomes the most chosen among the given options. As being seen, the majority of adult prefer to get a study because of interest in subjects. Indeed, it gives 40 percent and indicates as the most favourable option compared to others. Nevertheless, adding new friends is definitely the lowest criteria with just under 10 percent. Furthermore, the next graph provides clear information about the way of education costs in every course has to be dealt. It shows that the individuals should share the maximum cost as the highest percentage, with exactly 40 percent, should be managed by them. In contrast, taxpayers should bear 25% of this cost and the remaining cost, 35% should be supported by the employers.
The graphs reveal the outputs of
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
. The
first
picture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the motivation of adult who determines to study.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
second picture unveils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s opinion about how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be done
together.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
data supplied indicate that the major factor of adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is due to attraction to subjects.
However
, meeting new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
considered as the least
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
purpose to study. Meanwhile, other varieties of assumptions on how adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
should
be paid
are presented
in the second picture. Individual spending becomes the most chosen among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
options.

As being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, the majority of adult prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of interest in subjects.
Indeed
, it gives 40 percent and indicates as the most
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
option compared to others.
Nevertheless
, adding new friends is definitely the lowest criteria with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 10 percent.

Furthermore
, the
next
graph provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
information about the way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
in every course
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be dealt
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the individuals should share the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
as the highest percentage, with exactly 40 percent, should
be managed
by them.
In contrast
, taxpayers should bear 25% of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
and the remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
, 35% should
be supported
by the employers.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS academic The charts below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. v. 4

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
209 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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