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The bar graph illustrates the proportion of Americans ate in fast food establishments over a period of ten years from 2003 to 2013. v.2

The bar graph illustrates the proportion of Americans ate in fast food establishments over a period of ten years from 2003 to 2013. v. 2
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of Americans ate in fast food establishments over a period of ten years from 2003 to 2013. Overall, It is clear that the proportion of Americans ate in fast food restaurants from 2003 to 2006 experienced an upward trend, while there was a downward trend in the figure for people ate in these restaurants in the USA between 2006 and 2013. We can also see the majority of the eating at fast food established of Americans were once a week or once or twice a month in all three years. In three years, more than a quarter of Americans ate in fast food outlets once and four a month. About 10 to 20% of Americans ate in these outlets several times a week and a few times a year, while 3 to 4% of people ate in these outlets daily, and less than 5% of people avoided fast food outlets. Over ten years, the proportion of people ate fast food outlets once and several times a week, and a few times a year rose by approximately 3%. In contrast, this figure for people ate once or twice a month decreased by 5% from 30% to 25%.
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of Americans
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ate
in
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fast
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food
establishments over a period of ten years from 2003 to 2013.

Overall
, It is
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clear
that the proportion of Americans
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ate
in
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fast
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food
restaurants from 2003 to 2006 experienced an upward trend, while there was a downward trend in the figure for
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people
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ate
in these restaurants in the USA between 2006 and 2013. We can
also
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see
the majority of the eating at
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fast
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food
established of Americans were
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once
a week or
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once
or twice a month in all three years.

In three years, more than a quarter of Americans
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ate
in
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fast
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food
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outlets
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once
and four a month. About 10 to 20% of Americans
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ate
in these
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outlets
several
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times
a week and a few
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times
a
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year
, while 3 to 4% of
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people
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ate
in these
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outlets
daily, and less than 5% of
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people
avoided
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fast
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food
outlets.

Over ten years, the proportion of
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people
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ate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outlets
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once
and several
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times
a week, and a few
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times
a
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year
rose by approximately 3%.
In contrast
, this figure for
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
or twice a month decreased by 5% from 30% to 25%.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS academic The bar graph illustrates the proportion of Americans ate in fast food establishments over a period of ten years from 2003 to 2013. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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