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The charts show the reasons why undergraduates and postgraduates choose to go to Parker University. Describe the difference and compare them if possible. v.2

The charts show the reasons why undergraduates and postgraduates choose to go to Parker University. Describe the difference and compare them if possible. v. 2
The pie chart demonstrates the proportions of many factors, making undergraduates and postgraduates choose Parker University. Overall, It is clear that the majority of both undergraduate and postgraduate students choose Parker University based on the cost and university’s reputation with the biggest share goes to the latter factor. Looking into the details of the chart, 35% of undergraduates choose the university because of its reputation while the cost factor constitutes the second of 24%. However, these proportions are higher in the postgraduate group with up to 42% of reputation and 32% of cost respectively. When it comes to other factors, the biggest difference could be observed in the personal accommodation with a percentage of 18% in undergraduates, three times higher than that in postgraduates. It is true that the figures for location and availability of accommodation are significantly low in the two student groups, accounting for around 6 to 8%. The same pattern goes for proportions of other factors.
The pie chart demonstrates the proportions of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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factors
, making
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undergraduates
and
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postgraduates
choose Parker University.

Overall
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the majority of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduate
and
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postgraduate
students choose Parker University based on the cost and university’s reputation with the biggest share goes to the latter factor.

Looking into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the chart, 35% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduates
choose the university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its reputation while the cost
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factor
constitutes the second of 24%.
However
, these proportions are higher in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduate
group with up to 42% of reputation and 32% of cost
respectively
.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
, the biggest difference could
be observed
in the personal accommodation with a percentage of 18% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduates
, three times higher than that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduates
. It is true that the figures for location and availability of accommodation are
significantly
low in the two student groups, accounting for around 6 to 8%. The same pattern goes for proportions of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The charts show the reasons why undergraduates and postgraduates choose to go to Parker University. Describe the difference and compare them if possible. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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