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The charts below show the reasons why undergraduates and postgraduates choose to go to Parker university v.1

The charts below show the reasons why undergraduates and postgraduates choose to go to Parker university v. 1
The pie charts beneath provide the factors that affect both undergraduates and postgraduates to study in Park University. It can be seen that both groups shared a similar pattern in which reputation of university and cost were the major reasons. With regard to undergraduates, the reputation of the university had most impact on their choices, which attracted 34% of students. There was a percentage of 24% students deciding to enroll on Park University due to its cost. The students who studied at Park University because of personal recommendation accounted for 18% of total students. Other factors such as available of accommodation, location and other evenly distributed, from 7% to 8%. 42% of postgraduates chose Park University for its reputation, which was 10% more than those studied because of the cost. Personal recommendation of postgraduates had a low proportion which was 3 times less than that of undergraduates. The percentages of other reasons in terms of preferences to choose the university were inconsiderable as well, at around 6% and 8% each.
The pie charts beneath provide the factors that affect both undergraduates and postgraduates to study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
University.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that both groups shared a similar pattern in which reputation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and cost were the major reasons.

With regard to undergraduates, the reputation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
had most impact on their choices, which attracted 34% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. There was a percentage of 24%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
deciding to enroll on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
due to its cost. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who studied at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of personal recommendation accounted for 18% of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Other factors such as available of accommodation, location and other
evenly
distributed, from 7% to 8%.

42% of postgraduates chose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
for its reputation, which was 10% more than those studied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the cost. Personal recommendation of postgraduates had a low proportion which was 3 times less than that of undergraduates. The percentages of other
You should probably use "reason".
reasons
in terms of preferences to choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
were inconsiderable
as well
, at around 6% and 8% each.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS academic The charts below show the reasons why undergraduates and postgraduates choose to go to Parker university v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
170 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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