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the charts show the number of people who were affected by four types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural area v.2

the charts show the number of people who were affected by four types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural area v. 2
The bar graphs demonstrate how many cities and rural people were impacted by four different categories of noise pollution: traffic, train, aircraft, and industry, between day and night in 2017. Overall, it is clear that in both urban and rural areas, traffic was the main reason of noise pollution at all time and this problem was more serious in urban than rural areas. In cities, daytime noise from traffic affected to 64 million people while this number was just 34 million in rural areas. The number of people affected by traffic at night was 48 million in cities and 24 million in rural areas. Noise pollution by train was less than traffic in both cities and rural areas, at 10 million and 8 million respectively during the daytime and 8 million and 6 million respectively at night. The noise pollution caused by aircraft during the daytime impacted on 4 million people in urban areas and 2 million people in rural areas. At night, these numbers were 1 million for both urban and rural areas. While rural areas are not impacted by industry noise, in urban areas, 1 million people during the daytime and 0. 25 million people at night were affected by industry noise pollution.
The bar graphs demonstrate how
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many
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cities
and
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rural
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people
were impacted
by four
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different
categories of
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noise
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pollution
:
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traffic
, train, aircraft, and industry, between day and
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night
in 2017.

Overall
, it is
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clear
that in both
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urban
and
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rural
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areas
,
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traffic
was the main reason of
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noise
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pollution
at all time and this problem was more serious in
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urban
than
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rural
areas.

In
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cities
,
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daytime
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noise
from
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traffic
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affected
to 64
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million
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people
while this number was
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just
34
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million
in
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rural
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areas
. The number of
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people
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affected
by
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traffic
at
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night
was 48
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million
in
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cities
and 24
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million
in
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rural
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areas
.
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Noise
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pollution
by train was less than
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traffic
in both
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cities
and
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rural
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areas
, at 10
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million
and 8
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million
respectively
during the
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daytime
and 8
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million
and 6
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million
respectively
at night.

The
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noise
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pollution
caused by aircraft during the
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daytime
impacted on 4
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million
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people
in
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urban
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areas
and 2
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million
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people
in
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rural
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areas
. At
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night
, these numbers were 1
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million
for both
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urban
and
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rural
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areas
. While
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rural
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areas
are not impacted by industry
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noise
, in
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urban
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areas
, 1
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million
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people
during the
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daytime
and 0. 25
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million
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people
at
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night
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
72Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic the charts show the number of people who were affected by four types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural area v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
205 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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