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the bar graphs show the number of people who were affected by noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural areas in 2017 v.2

the bar graphs show the number of people who were affected by noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural areas in 2017 v. 2
The bar charts compare how many people in urban and rural areas were affected by noise pollution from four sources during daytime and nightime in 2007. Overall, it is clear that more people in cities experienced all types of noise pollution compared with rural areas. In both charts, traffic was the main source of noise pollution at all times. Daytime noise from traffic affected 64 million people in cities and 34 million in rural areas. At night, traffic noise affected 48 million city residents, double the figure for rural areas. Noise pollution caused by trains affected slightly more people in cities compared with rural areas, at 10 million and 8 million respectively during the daytime, and 8 million and 6 million respectively at night. The remaining two sources of noise pollution were less significant. In cities, daytime aircraft noise affected 4 million people and half that number in rural areas. The figure at night for cities and rural areas was 1 million. Those living in rural areas were not affected by noise from industry. However, 1 million city residents experienced industrial noise pollution in the daytime, four times the number affected at night
The bar charts compare how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
in urban and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affected
by noise

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
pollution
from four sources during daytime and
Possible spelling mistake found.
nightime
in 2007.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that more
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people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
experienced all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
pollution

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
compared
with
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rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. In both charts, traffic was the main source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
pollution


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
at
all times.

Daytime
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noise
from traffic
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affected
64
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
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cities
and 34
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million
in rural

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
areas
. At night, traffic
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noise
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affected
48
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million
city residents, double the figure for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
rural


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areas
.
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Noise
pollution caused by trains
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affected
slightly
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
compared


with
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rural
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areas
, at 10
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million
and 8
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million
respectively
during the daytime, and 8

Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
and 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
respectively
at night.

The remaining two sources of
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noise
pollution were less significant. In
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cities
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
daytime


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
aircraft
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noise
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affected
4
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million
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people
and half that number in
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rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. The figure
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
at


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
night
for
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cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
was 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. Those living in
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rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
were
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
not


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
affected
by
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noise
from industry.
However
, 1
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million
city residents experienced industrial

noise pollution in the daytime, four times the number
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affected
at night
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS academic the bar graphs show the number of people who were affected by noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural areas in 2017 v. 2

Academic
  American English
15 paragraphs
192 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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