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The charts illustrate the number of people who were affected by 4 types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural areas in 2007. v.2

The charts illustrate the number of people who were affected by 4 types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural areas in 2007. v. 2
The graph charts depict the amount of people, influenced by different types of noise pollution in day and night in all areas of the place where people live in 2007. It is noticeable that both citizens and rural habitants were affected more by traffic noise. However, 64 millions of citizens experienced it in day, while 34 millions of people in rural areas had the same impact of traffic pollution in a day. Futhermore, just under 50 millions of citizens and almost 25 millions of rural habitants were bothered by noise pollution from traffic at night. In comparison with traffic, train pollution was less harmful for all people. Only 10 million people in cities and 8 million of those who lived in suburbs in day were affected by train There also were small differencies in night amount of people in both areas. According to rest of data, aircraft and industry had no sicnificant pollution and affected less then 4 million people in day and night. To sum up the date, it is obvious that traffic pollution was the most harmful type of noise for all habitants of the area.
The graph charts depict the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, influenced by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
in day and night in all areas of the place where
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in 2007.

It is noticeable that both citizens and rural habitants were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
more by
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traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
.
However
, 64
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millions
of citizens experienced it in day, while 34
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
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people
in rural areas had the same impact of
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traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
in a day.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of citizens and almost 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of rural habitants
were bothered
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
from
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traffic
at night.
In comparison
with
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traffic
, train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
was less harmful for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
10
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million
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people
in cities and 8
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million
of those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in suburbs in day were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by train There
also
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Possible spelling mistake found.
differencies
in night amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in both areas.

According to rest of data, aircraft and industry had no
Possible spelling mistake found.
sicnificant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in day and night.

To sum up the date, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
was the most harmful type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
for all habitants of the area.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS academic The charts illustrate the number of people who were affected by 4 types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural areas in 2007. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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