Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The chart below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia’s share of the Japanese tourist market (IELTS BOOK 3 TEST 1) v.2

The chart below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia’s share of the Japanese tourist market (IELTS BOOK 3 TEST 1) v. 2
The bar chart below illustrates the amount of Japanese travellers leaving their country, from the year 1985 to 1995. Moreover the second infographic, is a line graph which depicts Australia' s share of the Japan' s tourist industry. In the bar chart, it shows during the year of 1985 the number of people travelling abroad was well over 4. 5 million people. It was the lowest year compared to the next ten years. Then in 1990 the numbers of passengers increased gradually at about approximately over 10 million people. However, the following year (1991) the number of people dropped slightly. Later in 1995 the population of travellers reached it peak in between 16 million and 14 million. On the other hand, the line graph demonstrates Australia' s share of Japan' s tourist industry was at it apex in the year 1994, the percentage rate of an estimate modestly above 6%, but in the following year 1995 the rate declined by a tiny bit at exactly 6%. Moreover during the year from 1985 to 1989 the pattern of the graph was increasing gradually. However, one year after 1989 the rate dropped significantly it was the first anomaly in the graph. Then in 1991 he percentage of the shares rose to approximately the same rate as it was before the big fall. From there on the rates steadily increased.
The bar chart below illustrates the amount of Japanese
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
leaving their country, from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1985 to 1995.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the second infographic, is a line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
which depicts
Possible spelling mistake found.
Australia&
#039; s share of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Japan&
#039; s tourist industry.

In the bar chart, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of 1985 the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelling abroad was well over 4. 5 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It was the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
compared to the
next
ten years. Then in 1990 the numbers of passengers increased
gradually
at about approximately over 10 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, the following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
(1991) the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dropped
slightly
. Later in 1995 the population of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
reached it peak in between 16 million and 14 million.

On the other hand
, the line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
demonstrates
Possible spelling mistake found.
Australia&
#039; s share of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Japan&
#039; s tourist industry was at it apex in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1994, the percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of an estimate
modestly
above 6%,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1995 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
declined by a tiny bit at exactly 6%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
from 1985 to 1989 the pattern of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
was increasing
gradually
.
However
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after 1989 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
dropped
significantly
it was the
first
anomaly in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
. Then in 1991
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'he'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
he percentage
of the shares rose to approximately the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
as it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fall. From there on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
steadily
increased.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia’s share of the Japanese tourist market (IELTS BOOK 3 TEST 1) v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
227 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts