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The charts show survey results concerning why MBA graduates did their degree, and employer's reasons for hiring them. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.2

The charts show survey results concerning why MBA graduates did their degree, and employer's reasons for hiring them.
The pie charts above summarize the result of a survey conduct amid MBA graduates and employers. The firsts were asked to explain the reasons for doing an MBA, the seconds indicated the skills that they value most. While the 65% of the graduates chose to do an MBA to have better options on the labour market, only the 10% of the employers recognize the values of qualifications. Accordingny to the survey, the 50% of the employers was equally divided in thinking that the personality and the knowledge values most on the workplace, the 20% gained importance to the employee' s presentation, followed those who underlined the importance of previous experiences; as mentioned, only one in ten of the interviewees valued most the qualifications. On the other hand, the 65% of the graduates think that the reason to choose an MBA are the better job opportunities granted by this qualification, the remain 35% was divided by a 15% who thought that an MBA could give a better ability to do the job; a 12% who pointed out the personal development as the main reason to chose the course and only the 8% of the former students said that the best reason to take an MBA is the ability to help others.
The pie charts above summarize the result of a survey conduct amid MBA graduates and employers. The firsts
were asked
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for doing an MBA, the seconds indicated the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that they value most. While the 65% of the graduates chose to do an MBA to have better options on the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the 10% of the employers recognize the values of qualifications.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Accordingny
to the survey, the 50% of the employers was
equally
divided in thinking that the personality and the knowledge values most on the workplace, the 20% gained importance to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
employee&
#039; s presentation, followed those who underlined the importance of previous experiences; as mentioned,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one in ten of the interviewees valued most the qualifications.

On the other hand
, the 65% of the graduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to choose an MBA are the better job opportunities granted by this qualification,
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'remain' is correct. If 'remain' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the remain
35%
was divided
by a 15% who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that an MBA could give a better ability to do the job; a 12% who pointed out the personal development as the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
Did you mean "to choose"?
to chose
the course and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the 8% of the former students said that the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to take an MBA is the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS academic The charts show survey results concerning why MBA graduates did their degree, and employer's reasons for hiring them.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
210 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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