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The following pie charts show the results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United States of America in 1999 and 2009. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.2

The following pie charts show the results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United States of America in 1999 and 2009.
The charts compare eight different pastimes in the USA in two seperate year 1999 and 2009. It is clear from the graphs that walking by far was the most widely enjoyed activity by Americans. Additionally, swimming and aerobics witnessed the most dramatic changes during the research period. In 1999, almost 30% of those surveyed participated in walking during their free time, followed by 17% of America people enjoyed soccer. Meanwhile, the figures for swimming, camping and jogging were relatively lower, at 9%, 8% and 7% respectively. By contrast, it can be seen that not many people living in the USA interested in yoga, at only 5%. In 2009, the proportion of people walking in their free time had a slight increase to 31%. Likewise, the percentage of people played soccer had a 1% rise to 18%. However, the figures for swimming and aerobics experienced the most significant changes. While the swimming proportion doubled to 18%, the percentage of people took part in aerobics declined to only 4% in 2009.
The charts compare eight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
pastimes in the USA in two
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperate
year 1999 and 2009.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graphs that walking by far was the most
widely
enjoyed activity by Americans.
Additionally
, swimming and aerobics witnessed the most dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
during the research period.

In 1999, almost 30% of those surveyed participated in walking during their free time, followed by 17% of America
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoyed soccer. Meanwhile, the figures for swimming, camping and jogging were
relatively
lower, at 9%, 8% and 7%
respectively
. By contrast, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the USA interested in yoga, at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5%.

In 2009, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
walking in their free time had a slight increase to 31%.
Likewise
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
played soccer had a 1% rise to 18%.
However
, the figures for swimming and aerobics experienced the most significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. While the swimming proportion doubled to 18%, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in aerobics declined to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4% in 2009.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The following pie charts show the results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United States of America in 1999 and 2009.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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