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The chart below show what UK graduates and post graduates students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant. v.2

The chart below show what UK graduates and post graduates students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008.
The bar chart illustrates the destinations of graduates and post graduates academicians of UK in 2008 who had part-time placements after graduation. Overall, the relatively similar trend was observed among graduates and post graduates after leaving college. In both cases, the majority of the students were seeking further studies while the minority participated the voluntary works. Among graduates, the majority of the part time workers did further study (29665) followed by part time work (17, 735), unemployment (16235) and voluntary work (3500) while in case of post graduates, the most graduates, just below 30, 000, choose further study followed by part-time work by about 25, 000. Around 1600 post graduates were unemployed, with minimum participation in voluntary works. The number of pass-outs in under graduates far outweighed the post graduates in the ratio of 10: 1. In addition to that, the difference in students adopting further study and part time work among graduates were higher in comparison to post graduates, however, other sectors depicted the similar trend.
The bar chart illustrates the destinations of
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graduates
and
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post
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graduates
academicians of UK in 2008 who had part-time placements after graduation.

Overall
, the
relatively
similar trend
was observed
among
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graduates
and
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post
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduates from".
graduates
after leaving college. In both cases, the majority of the students were seeking
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further
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studies
while the minority participated the voluntary works.

Among
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graduates
, the majority of the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
workers did
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further
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study
(29665) followed by
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
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work
(17, 735), unemployment (16235) and voluntary
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work
(3500) while in case of
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post
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graduates
, the most
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graduates
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 30, 000, choose
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further
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study
followed by part-time
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work
by about 25, 000. Around 1600
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post
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graduates
were unemployed
, with minimum participation in voluntary works.

The number of pass-outs in under
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graduates
far outweighed the
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post
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graduates
in the ratio of 10: 1.
In addition
to that, the difference in students adopting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
among
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graduates
were higher
in comparison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
,
however
, other sectors depicted the similar trend.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS academic The chart below show what UK graduates and post graduates students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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