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the charts compares the cars per 1000 people in 5 countries in Europe and the European average in 3 years. v.2

the charts compares the cars per 1000 people in 5 countries in Europe and the European average in 3 years. v. 2
The graph illustrates how many cars were possessed in 1000 people in five different European countries and the European average in three surveyed years. It is clear that while the UK experienced a drop, the opposite trend was true for Italy, Germany and the average of Europe during the period shown. Additionally, Greece had the lowest figure of cars owned per 1000 inhabitants. Regarding Italy, Germany and the European average, in 2005, there were approximately 500 people had cars in Italy, which were significantly lower than Germany and European; about 700 and 900 car owners respectively. Despite a slight fall in the next two years, both figures of Germany and European average climbed to nearly 1000 and 800 cars per 1000 residents in 2015. Meanwhile, the number of cars in Italy went up before going down to just over 500 cars. According to the remaining nations, 1000 British citizens had almost 700 cars as many as that of French had in 2005. After a ten-year period, while the UK decreased constantly to under 600 cars in 100 people, the figure in France remained unchanged. By comparison with Greece, although there was a surge to 400 cars per 1000 citizens in 2009, this figure stabilized at about 300 cars in 2015.
The graph illustrates how
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many
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cars
were possessed
in 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in five
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different
European countries and the European
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average
in three surveyed years.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that while the UK experienced a drop, the opposite trend was true for Italy, Germany and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
of Europe during the period shown.
Additionally
, Greece had the lowest
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figure
of
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cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
per 1000 inhabitants.

Regarding Italy, Germany and the European
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average
, in 2005, there were approximately 500
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had
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cars
in Italy, which were
significantly
lower than Germany and European; about 700 and 900
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car
owners
respectively
. Despite a slight fall in the
next
two years, both
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figures
of Germany and European
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average
climbed to
nearly
1000 and 800
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
per 1000 residents in 2015. Meanwhile, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in Italy went up
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before
going down to
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just
over 500 cars.

According to the remaining nations, 1000 British citizens had almost 700
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cars
as
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many
as that of French had in 2005. After a ten-year period, while the UK decreased
constantly
to under 600
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cars
in 100
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
in France remained unchanged. By comparison with Greece, although there was a surge to 400
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
per 1000 citizens in 2009, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
stabilized at about 300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in 2015.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS academic the charts compares the cars per 1000 people in 5 countries in Europe and the European average in 3 years. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
210 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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