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the charts below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013 v.2

the charts below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013 v. 2
The graph illustrated the number of persons who eat fast food at eating house in united state between 2003 and 2013 In general, it can be seen that the most people eat fast food one time a week in 2003 and 2006. While in 2013 the people who eat precooked food once or twice times a month reaches a peak. To begin with the year two thousands and thirteen, it can be observed that the rate of people who eat once time every day stood at 4% approximately. Then the percentage rose significantly to around 17% for persons who eat many times weekly. For people who one time a week, the rate increased suddenly to more than 30% (around 31%). Whereas, the proportion went down to around 5% for people who do not eat fast food in restaurant. Turning to 2006, it can be witnessed that, the proportion is around 3% for people who eat every day. This rate was more than that in 2003. The per cent of people who once a week was approximately 33% which is higher than the rate in 2003 for this group. However, the proportion declined sharply to around 4% for persons who never ever eat fast food in restaurant. Finally, in 2013, the people who eat unhealthy food every week still the same rate (3%). While the percentage increased markedly to 15% for people who eat fast food a few times a year before grew down to around 4% for persons who never eat fast food.
The graph illustrated the number of
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persons
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who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at eating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in united state between 2003 and 2013

In general
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the most
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
in 2003 and 2006. While in 2013 the
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
precooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
once or twice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
a month reaches a peak.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the year two thousands and thirteen, it can
be observed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
every day stood at 4% approximately. Then the percentage rose
significantly
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
17% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
weekly. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
A noun should not follow 'who'. Try changing to a verb or maybe to "who is a one".
who one
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time
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
, the
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rate
increased
suddenly
to more than 30%
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(around
31%). Whereas, the proportion went down to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
5% for
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in restaurant.

Turning to 2006, it can
be witnessed
that, the proportion is
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around
3% for
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
every day. This
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rate
was more than that in 2003. The per cent of
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
once a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
was approximately 33% which is higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in 2003 for this group.
However
, the proportion declined
sharply
to
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around
4% for
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persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
never ever
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eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in restaurant.

Finally
, in 2013, the
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
still
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
(3%). While the percentage increased
markedly
to 15% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
a year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
grew down to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
4% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
71Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic the charts below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013 v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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